For family's sake
by 0cloudyday
Summary: AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.
1. Something is wrong

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John**  
Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters.  
**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

**For family's sake**

**Chapter 1: Something is wrong**

"If you walk out of this door, it's closed. You understand me. Don't come back." John yelled. The next second the door was opened and a pissed Sam came out, with his duffel bag in one hand and he threw the door shut behind him...

Dean had known that it would end ugly. Both his father and brother were damn stubborn and always thought they were right. Which caused that over the years, they stopped listening or really caring what the other needed.

Dean had felt that Sam wouldn't endure all this any longer. But for Dean all this didn't matter anymore, anyway. He knew what he had to do.

Sam went over to Dean, who was standing next to the Impala. His angry expression has turned to hurt. Sam knew that his father meant what he had said: for him he wasn't part of the family anymore.

"He is right you know... you shouldn't come back." Dean suddenly said, just as Sam wanted to put his stuff in the car.

Sam stopped dead and looked at his brother with wide eyes. "What?" Sam whispered.

"I said. You shouldn't come back. We are definitely better off without you." Dean said with a calm voice. Without hate or anything. A simple statement. But for Sam it was like a blow in his face.

"Not you, too, please Dean!" Sam half begged. Sam had known Dean would be sad and maybe a little angry, but he had expected that Dean would support him nevertheless... and he had, till now.

"Sammy don't foul yourself. You always had your own head... bad for following orders. Which makes you a pretty lousy hunter. I mean how often did I have to safe your ass." Dean said.

"Could we please change the subject." Sam said now pissed again.

"Yeah, sure. Always avoiding problems, right? The reason why you leave, too, right!" Dean just said and opened the driver's door.

"You know what... I think I will take a cab." Sam said and pulled his stuff out of the car again. He really wasn't in the mood for this... and he was hurt.

Dean walked around the car slowly, but before Sam could leave, Dean gripped him firmly and pushed him against the car hard.

Sam was taken by surprise. His back hurt... but even when the shock was gone, Sam didn't struggle.

"Dean I am sorry... but I have to go. This is my chance... I thought you'd understand." Sam said.

Dean gripped Sam's right arm firmer and pulled him towards the passenger door. He opened the door with his free hand and pushed Sam in the car.

"Get in! You won't run away from our last opportunity to see each other." Dean said now angrily and slammed the door shut after Sam got in.

Sam looked sadly at Dean. He knew he had hurt Dean when he had decided to go to Stanford. Dean defiantly had the right to be mad.

Dean went over to the driver's seat again and started the engine.

* * *

The whole drive Dean didn't say a word. Sam had tried to talk to him, but Dean had simply switched on the music and every time Sam tried to talk again, Dean simply wouldn't react. So all in all they drove in silence. 

When they finally reached the train station after an hour, Sam was pissed again. He simply didn't get Dean.

He got out of the car. He closed the door and turned around once again, looking at his brother, who was looking straight through the windshield.

"Dean." Sam said and Dean turned around to look at him. "We will see us, right... call if something happens." Sam said. Unsure what to say, how to say goodbye.

"Sam... I mean it. Don't come back. There is no place for you anymore." Dean said calmly, as if he was talking about the weather.

Sam was stunned and looked at his brother, hurt. "Dean..." Sam wanted to say something, anything...

"Go. Or you will miss your train." Dean now said kindly and started the engine again.

"Whatever..." Sam whispered and stepped away from the car. He didn't want it to end like this. After all this was Dean. He was his brother and he loved him, admired him and felt safe with him... But Dean didn't seem to bother...

Sam turned around and went to catch his train.

* * *

_Two years later_

Sam had just celebrated Halloween with Jessica and the fact that he could go to Law School... Jess was already sleeping and he just wanted to lay down too... as he heard a knock on the door.

The hard training in his childhood had shaped him, as much as he wanted to ignore it.

He immediately heard the knock, got out of the bed and towards the door.

Jessica awoke from the shift in the bed.

"Sam, what is it?" she asked half asleep.

"Somebody knocked... wait here." Sam just said while Jessica looked worried. After all it was 2 in the morning.

Sam switched on the light in the living room and slowly went over to the front door... he slowly opened it, ready to attack, if necessary.

When he opened the door, his heart nearly dropped. He had expected a lot, but not really the sight before him.

"Hey Sammy." the man in front of Sam said.

Sam didn't move to let the man in... he just looked at him. He had let this world behind him and his old life had left him in peace. That he was here right now at two in the morning probably meant nothing good.

"It's Sam... my name is Sam." Sam just said. He didn't want to be rude. He had always liked Caleb, but seeing him right now, here... it reminded him of bad memories...

"We need to talk." Caleb said. He smiled at Sam. He hadn't seen the boy for three years. He looked good and not so tensed as he had been the last time he had seen him.

This observation made him feel uneasy. Because he knew his news would destroy everything Sam had built up here in Stanford... but he was pretty sure Sam wanted to know it – the reason why he came.

"Sam, who is it?" Jessica asked as she came out of their room.

Sam turned to her and Caleb saw how Sam smiled at her.

"This is an old friend of my father... Caleb... Jessica, my girlfriend." Sam introduced the two.

"I guess Sam forgot his manners... come in." Jessica said and Sam backed off to let Caleb in.

"Thanks." Caleb said.

They settled down.

"Sam we need to talk..." Caleb started and made clear that he wanted to talk in private.

"You can talk in front of Jessica, we have no secrets." Sam said.

But Caleb knew that it wasn't the truth. So he thought carefully about his words.

"Your father needs you." Caleb started.

Sam looked at Caleb as if he was insane. "Dad never needed me." Sam said coldly.

"This is different... did you talk to Dean recently?" Caleb asked hopefully.

"I haven't talked to Dean since I came to Stanford. Why are you here Caleb!" Sam asked a little bit angry and Jess placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Caleb looked worried. "So ... he really is..." Caleb mumbled. He looked up again.

"Sam... your father is in the hospital. You need to see him." Caleb said.

"Oh god... Sam." Jessica said shocked. And looked at her boyfriend, expecting a worried Sam.

But for Sam this news wasn't that shocking. His whole family had been a recurring patient in hospitals all over the US.

"How bad." Sam asked calmly.

"He doesn't know that I am here. But I can't look at this any longer!" Caleb said.

Sam hesitated. The choice of words Caleb used... Sam was worried now.

"How bad." Sam repeated.

"He had been in a coma for three days. I couldn't sit there any longer, so I thought I would come here, as I don't know your number... Ten minutes before I came here, Jim called me that your father woke up." Caleb told Sam...

"Sam. You have to go see him." Jessica said, shocked by the story.

Sam just nodded. He knew he had no other choice. Although he didn't really want to.

"What about Dean...?" Sam finally asked.

Caleb looked at him for a while. He sighed. "... you should really talk to your father, about this." he finally said.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked confused. There was definitely something Caleb wasn't telling him.

"Talk to your Dad, Sammy. It's not my place to tell you..." Caleb said and stood up.

Sam suddenly jumped up and wanted to attack Caleb, but Caleb saw it coming, blocked him and pinned him against the next wall.

"Sam!" Jessica yelled shocked... not sure what has just happened.

"Easy tiger." Caleb said and smiled at Sam, who struggled, to get out of Caleb's grip.

"Why are you here Caleb. Dad is in the hospital, fine – no real big news. So why are you here? Obviously something big happened, otherwise you wouldn't be here at two in the morning, right! So in case you don't finally tell me what is going on here, I am not really in the mood to come with you." Sam said pissed.

For Sam everything comparable to normalcy he has built in the last two years was destroyed, by the simple fact that Caleb showed up.

Of course he was worried, about his Dad... but these things have happened before and at the moment the anger was simply stronger.

Caleb released Sam out of his grip and stepped back. Jessica immediately rushed over to Sam.

"Sam... are you okay." Jessica asked scared and confused. She had never seen Sam like that.

"Go see your father Sammy. If you want a ride, I am waiting downstairs... I am taking off in an hour. Otherwise here is the address of the hospital." Caleb said. He went to the door and placed a card on the table. He turned around once more.

"Has been nice meeting you, Jessica. Wished it had been under other circumstances..." Caleb said. Jessica nodded shortly and Caleb left the apartment.

* * *

"Sam...Sam!" Jess said after Caleb was gone and Sam was still starring at the door. 

Sam slowly looked at his girlfriend... he simply didn't know what to do... but there was this nagging feeling, that this was serious. That something was definitely wrong.

"I have to go." Sam whispered.

Jess smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah... I wouldn't have expected anything else." she said and kissed him.

* * *

Half an hour later Sam came out of the apartment and placed his duffel bag in Caleb's car. 

They drove to the hospital without a word.

"Do me a favor... try to avoid a fight, okay. He probably won't say it, but he missed you." Caleb said as he parked the car.

"I try." Sam said absently.

They both went inside the hospital and Caleb directed them to John's room and just as they arrived, Pastor Jim came out.

"... Sam..." Jim said surprised.

"Pastor Jim." Sam said with a smile and the both hugged.

"That's where you went?" Jim asked Caleb and he seemed not pleased.

"He needs to know, don't you think." Caleb said stiffly.

Sam looked between the two. Totally confused. "What is going on here?" Sam asked.

"How is he?" Sam finally asked after nobody answered him.

"Go in. But please try to avoid a fight, okay." Pastor Jim said.

"You both are acting as if he couldn't stand a fight." Sam said angrily, ignored the other two men and knocked at his father's door.

"What did you forget now Jim?" John's voice came out of the room.

Sam paused a second, opened the door and entered his father's room.

* * *

The second John saw Sam, his face turned from happiness to confusion over to anger and finally ended with a expression, Sam couldn't read. 

"Sam!" John finally said after a few seconds.

"Dad." Sam said quietly. He placed his duffel bag on the floor and went over to the bed.

"What are you doing here?" John asked.

"Caleb came to Stanford... he told me you were in the hospital..." Sam said.

John seemed thoughtful, but also sad. "So Caleb... I knew he wanted to tell you for a while. I guess I should be pleased that he didn't tell you earlier..." John said to himself. "Did he tell you anything else?" he asked Sam.

"Pastor Jim and Caleb were acting strange and Caleb kept telling me that I should ask you." Sam said slowly and looked at his Dad. Then his look went over to his chart at the end of his bed.

A confused expression appeared on Sam's face and he took the chart in his hand and then he looked back at his father.

"John Winchester?" Sam asked. "You always taught us to hide our identities, especially in hospitals... got careless?" Sam asked confused. His Dad never made mistakes. Not like these.

"Who said that I was on a hunt?" John asked with a weak smile. He was proud that his son noticed the fact with the name. Although Sam had run away from the hunter's life, he couldn't forget it.

"Not... but... I don't understand." Sam said totally confused now.

"I am not hunting anymore Sammy... well not really at least." John said calmly.

"Yeah, right... and Mom is alive and Dean is having a family..." Sam said sarcastically... John didn't laugh but kept looking in Sam's eyes. "Seriously? Since when, why?" Sam finally asked totally stunned. Hunting was John's obsession... Hunting came first – before everything... even family and normalcy... the reason why Sam left.

"Sam... when did you see or speak to Dean the last time?" John asked and Sam saw that John suddenly felt unsure. He even seemed weak. A condition Sam had never seen his father before.

"When I left... I don't think he missed me..." Sam said and remembered the last time he saw Dean and he felt angry again. "Where is he anyway? I thought he never leaves your side." he added.

"Don't talk like this about your brother." John suddenly said angrily.

Sam just glared at his father and John looked weak again.

"Sam... there is something I probably should have told you a while ago... but ..." John said quietly. It was like a whisper and Sam had to listen carefully to even understand his father.

John closed his eyes. This was the hard part and he knew... Sam would start a fight when he told him... unimportant what Sam just said. He sighed.

"Sam... Dean is missing." John finally said.

Sam looked at his father for a few seconds, as if he was paralyzed. Not really understanding what his father had just said.

"What?" Sam whispered and all color went from his face. "No... he probably just found a girl he could hook up with or is playing some pool... or..." Sam said. He suddenly felt that he couldn't stand anymore and he had problems to breath... Not Dean.. not his brother... not Dean.

Sam sat down on the chair next to his father's bed and placed his face in his hands. Trying to get enough air in his lungs.

Suddenly he felt a hand rubbing his back. He looked up... and saw is father smiling slightly at him and he saw tears on his father's face. That was when he noticed that his face was wet too.

Sam had believed his father immediately when he said Dean was missing and he also knew that it was bad... now he also understood Caleb's and Pastor Jim's reaction...

"What happened... since when?" Sam finally asked.

Now actually was the hard part – John knew Sam would freak out in a second... and he wasn't so sure anymore what he could say against it...

"After he brought you to the train station... he came back two hours later. We didn't speak about it anymore..." John paused. He was looking to the ceiling now.

"We did the usual thing since then. Hunting... driving from one city to another..." John kept talking.

"And then... three weeks after you left... we were staying in another motel in some small town. He came back from playing some pool I guess. He seemed pretty drunk, which as you know isn't normal. Before we went sleeping ..." John paused once again.

"... he said..." John paused once again and laughed quietly – and another tear appeared in his eye.

"He said: Love you Dad." John said. "The next second he was asleep..." John remembered.

Sam was smiling a little and wiped away his tears. Dean normally doesn't express his feelings – this really was something special.

"The next morning he was gone. Not a note or a message on the phone. Neither a trace of a fight ... nothing. His stuff was still there, but his bed was done." John said and now Sam was looking at his father as if he was crazy.

"At first I thought he just went off to... I don't know... but when he didn't come back and I couldn't reach him..." John just wanted to continue, but meanwhile Sam already jumped up.

"Three weeks after I went to Stanford? You have to be kidding me, right... Are you just telling me that he is missing for nearly two years and you didn't bother to tell me?" Sam yelled.

tbc

I would love to know what you think of this chapter...

_How is the conflict between Sam and John going to end? What happened to Dean? I guess you just have to wait for the next chapter to find out more... and I promise there is going to be more Dean in it ;)._


	2. Dean, where are you?

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John  
**Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters.  
**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.  
Thanks a lot for the reviews ;) . Loved them - I am so glad you liked the story, so here is more! Enjoy and would love to get some reviews again ;) .

* * *

**Chapter 2: Dean, where are you?**

_Previously_

"_Three weeks after I went to Stanford? You have to be kidding me, right... Are you just telling me that he is missing for nearly two years and you didn't bother to tell me?" Sam yelled._

* * *

John looked at Sam. "You said you are out of this family... that you don't want to be part of this anymore. You went out of this family. In those two years you didn't once call – doesn't really seem as if you care" John said angrily.

"You said don't come back. You closed that door, not me!" Sam said pissed. "But Dean is my brother. You really thought I wouldn't care... for gods sake Dad... he is my brother... shit!" he continued, stood up and hit the wall angrily.

"You couldn't have helped anyway... I am doing everything I can to find him and I have help." John said as if he wanted to apologize for what he has done.

But Sam could only look at his father. He sometimes couldn't believe how little John knew about emotions. "You know, that's exactly why I left in the first place. You only have hunting in your mind that you even forget how it is to be a real person – with emotions, you remember such a thing?" Sam said still angry. "I know you think I'm a lousy hunter – something Dean thinks too... but even if I could have done nothing, I could at least be concerned. The whole time I was in Stanford I thought he was safe... two years. God, I can't believe it." Sam said and finally sat down again.

"I at least wanted one of us to have a normal life. You did it. You got out, you went to Stanford... I didn't want to ruin it for you." John finally whispered and Sam looked at him as if he saw a ghost.

Sam sighed. "But I would never have done it at the expense of Dean's life or safety... as far as we can say this in our family." Sam said and John had to smile. Sam simply ignored the fact that his father just told him that he supported his life in Stanford – there were more important things right now.

John looked at his son. He knew he screwed up as a father...

"So what happened after he left." Sam said after while.

"I don't think he left freely... As much as you don't want it, but hunting is Dean's life. He wouldn't have simply went away." John said convinced. Sam didn't argue about that...

"I checked the news. I called friends... I tortured demons... Nothing." John said. He didn't tell that he picked up the phone at least hundreds of times with the intention to call Sammy, but always stopped after the dialed three numbers...

"...not that I was surprised. He is a great hunter. I taught him everything I know. If he doesn't want to be found we can hardly find him." John said.

"Well... so I finally reported him missing." John added and Sam once again looked at his Dad with surprise.

"You included the police?" Sam asked to make sure he heard right. His Dad has always told them that they shouldn't trust the police, that they always caused trouble.

"I was desperate..." John admitted. "... and we hadn't been on a hunt. So I didn't really have to lie or hide anything from them. And I hoped they could help somehow... maybe he disappeared because of something natural." he explained his thoughts and Sam only nodded.

"Fine... but doesn't really seem as if they helped, did they?"

"A little. They found out in which bar Dean had been the night he disappeared. And I dug deeper. I talked to some people who had been there too. They said he had been drinking a lot and he of course played pool and flirted a lot – as always." John told and Sam had to smile again. He just noticed how much he missed his big brother."

"But the important part is that he was seen before he went to the bar. Some people saw him with somebody in a dark alley. They said he had an argument with the other person. They only heard Dean yelling and then he stormed into the bar. They couldn't say anything about the other person." John paused.

"The important part is what Dean said to the other person." he added.

"I wonder what you did to get the informations." Sam mumbled.

John ignored his son. "As far as I know, Dean said: _I already told you I am coming with you, so keep them out of it. We had a deal, remember... _and he said: _I did what you told me to do in Pocatello. I even talked to Travis. That should be proof enough, right!" _John said and Sam looked thoughtful.

"_Keep them out of it?_ Was he trying to protect somebody... but he said he would go with that person... and Pocatello and who is Travis?" Sam thought aloud.

"I thought about the same things as you... and I had time to check it. The last time we had been in Pocatello or near it, was in January and February 2002. That's about a year before you left to Stanford." John said.

"And it's around Dean's 23rd birthday." Sam added and John nodded,

"I checked the news around the time we were there and a few weeks later. There were the news about the demon we had been hunting then. But there was also news about two dead girls and a robbery." John said and Sam flinched.

"You want to tell me that you think that Dean was responsible for their death?" Sam said angrily.

"I am just telling you facts I know. I don't want to believe that Dean was responsible..." John said calmly.

"As you said, Dean's life is hunting. And that is because he wants to protect other people. He would sacrifice himself if he has to... he would never kill anybody." Sam said still angry.

"Sam I am just trying to find Dean. I agree with you. I don't think Dean would ever kill anybody. But he was acting strange the few days before you left and you know that... something must have happened. I just told you the facts, okay!" John said now louder.

"Fine." Sam said and tried to calm himself down again. "What about this Travis guy..."

"That was a bigger problem and I am still not sure that I found the right guy... I took a while. Actually I found him a week ago. The reason why I am here. I mean how many guys do you think live in the US who are called Travis?" John asked sarcastically.

Sam didn't response. "Well... from the conversation it seemed that this Travis was somebody special. So I looked if I could find a Travis in our hunter community – or however you want to call it. There were two matches and I checked both and talked to both, but they never met Dean or knew anything – I am sure. So I checked other famous Travis'. Well that was pretty much everything I was doing the last two years... Till an old friend of mine – Missouri – found a guy named Travis, who had been in a psychiatry the last year. He told everybody that he had been a prisoner in his own body for three years and that he knew the world was going to end..." John told his story.

"Sounds like possession. But since when do demon's keep their victims alive?" Sam said.

"I went to the apartment he lives in since his release. I was pretty sure I found the guy... I watched him a few days. I noticed nothing suspicious so I finally decided to go talk to him. I waited for the night and knocked at his door after I saw him going home... but he never opened the door, so I broke it. But in the house was no trace of Travis." John said and Sam got alert.

"He disappeared in front of your eyes?!" Sam asked. His father was definitely getting careless.

"Let me tell the end of the story." John said, a little bit amused of Sam's faith in him. Although he had always questioned everything the last few years before he left for Stanford, Sam obviously sometimes still had the image that he was a hero.

"...I checked the rooms twice and ended up in the bedroom again... and I looked up to the ceiling – where I saw... him pinned up to the ceiling, his stomach sliced. And the next second he started to burn..." John said and looked at his son carefully, because he got paler every second.

"Like Mom." Sam whispered.

John nodded. "Well that's how I ended here. I tried to get out of there as soon as possible. I don't know exactly what happened. But I know I was nearly at the door, when everything went black." John admitted and Sam watched his father carefully.

"You think the demon might have tried to kill you? Hell, you think the demon who killed Mom, abducted Dean?" Sam asked.

"After this incident. It can't be a coincidence, not in our business..." John said and Sam got even more paler.

"God, this is too big, too fast..." Sam said and looked totally lost for a second, which made John's heart ache. It was a thing that would never stop – he will always have the urge, to protect Mary's boys, his boys.

Sam might not see it that way, but for him telling them about the Supernatural, was his way to protect them, to keep them safe. Although it meant to take away their innocence. It had been a hard decision for John, but for him the only right one.

"Is there anything I can do now?" Sam asked.

"You could search for informations about this Travis. Some background informations, like where he has been the last few years – before he went to the asylum. Also check if he has been in the same city as we have been... the little stuff, you know what I mean." John suggested and Sam nodded.

Sam went over to his duffel bag and took out his laptop. He sat back down next to his father and started to search.

"His name is Travis McMillan. He was born November 28th 1968 in Richmond, Virginia and last year he was in the Maddison Psychiatry in Portland, Oregon ..." John listed the things he knew.

Sam nodded and began his search. Meanwhile John took out his journal and started to write down stuff and he began to analyze some papers.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Sam asked after a while, still looking at the screen.

"Trying to find Dean." John said not looking up either. But now Sam looked at his father.

"What? You have a lead? Why didn't you tell earlier!" Sam asked harshly.

"It's nothing specific. Just some stuff I noticed. It doesn't matter... keep working on you stuff." John said, still not looking up.

"I have never seen you doing anything unimportant... if this is about Dean, I need to know. You want to hide things from me again?" Sam asked pissed.

"You really want to fight now?" John asked and both men glared at each other. Finally Sam backed off and stood up.

"I need some air." He said and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Sam really was angry at himself. He was wasting time with fighting, while he should be searching for Dean, who might be going through

hell right now.

The thought that Dean might be dead, never came to his mind. Or actually he didn't allow himself to think of it. Well his father believed that Dean was alive – so he wouldn't doubt it either.

Sam sighed. He turned around again and went back to his father's room. He wondered where Caleb and Pastor Jim might be, but actually didn't really want to talk to them either. After all they didn't tell him that Dean was missing either...

Sam opened the door. His father was writing in his journal again and he didn't even look up when Sam came back into the room and sat down next to him, to search for informations about Travis.

It was okay like that. Both Winchesters knew that silence was the best conversation they could have at the moment.

* * *

"Sam... Sam!"

Sam awoke startled from his dream – or better nightmare. He looked confused at his surrounding, not aware where he was for a second. But then he remembered what had happened the day before...

He must have fallen asleep during research, because now the sun was getting down again.

Sam looked at his father, who was standing next to him – fully dressed.

"Dad... what..." Sam was totally confused.

"I checked myself out, while you were sleeping... We can't waist time now." John said and Sam felt as if John was slapping him. Because it sounded as if he was again disappointed at him. Dean was missing and he felt asleep during research. He actually could slap himself. He was used to study through the night, without sleep... and now that it was about Dean, he fell asleep.

But for now he simply ignored his father's comment.

John saw the guilty look on his son's face. His comment wasn't meant that way. He had let Sam sleep, because he knew he needed it. Sam had to process everything he learned this morning... but he had no time for this now. So he didn't address it again.

"I might have a lead. Let's go." John said.

"What? A lead... where?" Sam said while he placed the laptop back in his duffel bag and followed his father out of the hospital.

John seemed a little weak... after all he just awoke from a coma... but he still seemed strong. And Sam was amazed by that fact.

His dad went to the parking lot and Sam stopped dead when he saw which car they were going to drive.

Dad gave Dean the Impala when he turned 18 and since then it had been his baby. He never even allowed Sam to drive it once. Seeing it here, he finally really realized that Dean was gone. And it made him feel weak again.

"Sam get in." John said. It wasn't an order... Sam did not know why, but for him it sounded more like a promise – a promise that they are going to find Dean.

Sam nodded slightly and sat down on the passenger's seat, while his Dad started the engine.

* * *

It was strange for Sam to sit in the Impala. The last time was with Dean, when he brought him to the train station. And it wasn't really a good memory.

The first ten minutes they didn't speak. But then John broke the silence.

"Caleb in already on his way there... Jim is back on his way to Minnesota. He has some appointments. He says he is sorry and ... there is a package in the trunk for you from him." John said and Sam nodded.

"Where is there?" Sam asks after a while.

"Palo Alto, California." John said and Sam looked confused.

"What? Why! You said you had a lead..." Sam said.

"Okay... listen. After the incident with Travis, I came to the conclusion, as you... that the demon who killed your mother, has something to do with Dean's disappearance. So I checked my old notes about the demon... and I realized something. There is a pattern. There had been a few incidents... just like the one with you mother. Houses burning. Eyewitnesses who insist that they saw their family members pinned to the ceiling and burning. I had been on the trail for a few years... but when Dean went missing, I put it on hold." John said.

"You never told us..." Sam said.

"I hadn't figured out the pattern... it wasn't something we could really use. Well, the important thing is, that I figured out the pattern yesterday – finally. And I checked... it happened in the Lawrence and in Portland. And the signs. It happens again. In Palo Alto." John finally said and Sam was paralyzed.

"You know, who it's going to to attack? Or why?" Sam asks.

"No. I only know that it's going to be in Palo Alto... and I am pretty sure that if we find the demon, we are going to find Dean." John said.

"Sammy you okay?" John asked after a while. He had looked at his son and his face was pale.

"Dad... we need to drive faster!" Sam said quietly.

John looked at his son confused, who didn't look good at all.

"Sam what is it." John said, but Sam just looked on the road.

"I said drive faster!" Sam insisted and the tone in his boy's voice, made John to step on the gas-pedal.

"You are going to tell me what it is?" John asked.

Sam didn't look at his father. "I had this nightmare yesterday..."

"I noticed... about Jess?" John asked and Sam finally looked at his father.

"How.."

"You talked in your sleep." John only answered.

"Oh... yes. I dreamed about Jessica – my girlfriend." Sam slowly said, waiting for any reaction on his father's side, but John now just only looked on the street. So Sam continued. "The dream was only in snatches... I was in our apartment. And then I was in our bedroom ... and then I was lying in the bed and looking to the ceiling... and then I saw here on the ceiling, sliced and she started to burn!" Sam whispered.

John gripped the wheel harder. "People have weird dreams... and after I told you the story about Travis... it could have influenced your subconscious." John tried to explain it.

"I dreamed about it before... Actually for a few weeks. And now you are telling me that the demon is back and he is going to be in Palo Alto – you really think it's a coincidence?" Sam asked.

John didn't answer to it. But now he really stepped on the gas-pedal. He had actually seen Jess. During his search for Dean he had stopped in Palo Alto a few times, to make sure that Sam was alright and to check if Dean showed up there.

Jess had made Sam smile – a smile, John hadn't seen on his son's face a long time.

John seriously didn't want to see Sam losing his girlfriend, just as he has lost Mary.

* * *

The next few hours they didn't speak. Sometime on the road John had called Caleb to inform him, to go to Sam's apartment... but Caleb's car broke down ten minutes later and it would take a while, to fix the car. So in the end John and Sam needed to hurry even more. Sam had the uneasy feeling that it was happening tonight. And he was scared. He had tried to call Jess a few times, but she wasn't answering... and this was odd too. Sam just hoped that they were arriving in time.

* * *

When they finally arrived in Palo Alto, they immediately drove to Sam's apartment. Sam didn't question how his father knew the way...

But already on their way, they heard the sirens wail and Sam got even paler.

_Oh god we are too late... too late... Jess, not Jess... god please _Sam thought on and on.

When they finally arrived they saw that the fireman already started to extinguish the fire.

Sam jumped out of the car. "Jess!" he screamed and tried to get through the crowd, to get in the house... but a fireman was finally holding him back.

"No. I live here.. my girlfriend is in there!" Sam tried to argue with the fireman.

"Jessica Moore?" the fireman asked and Sam stopped to struggle, ready for the bad news. "Yes." Sam whispered.

"She is alright. She got out of the house in time!" the fireman said and Sam looked at the man as if he was crazy.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"She is over there!" the fireman said and pointed in the direction.

Sam immediately rushed over there, his father on his heels.

And there she was, wrapped in a blanket and talking to another fireman. She immediately saw Sam and she smiled, totally forgetting the fireman and running over to her boyfriend.

"Sam!" she said and fell in his arms.

"Oh god Jess... I thought... god I am so glad you are okay." Sam whispered and kissed her. John meanwhile watched the scene from afar.

"I can't believe it myself. I guess I had a guardian... but what are you doing here. I thought you were with your father." she said.

"He is alright... actually he is over there." Sam said and turned around to his father, who came to the couple now.

"Dad, that's Jess, my girlfriend. Jess, my father – John Winchester!" Sam introduced the two. More out of politeness, not because he wanted too. He still wasn't sure how his father would act.

"Nice to meet you. Although I wished it had been a better time and place." John said and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you too. And glad that you are fine, Mr Winchester." Jess said and smiled at him.

Sam looked at the two and was impressed that his father after all seemed to know how to be polite.

"Jess, what happened?" Sam finally asked, looking at the house.

"I don't know... I still can't believe what happened... I mean it can't be. I don't know what happened." Jess said looking lost.

"Hey it's okay. Let's go sit over there." Sam said and led her over to a bench. Meanwhile Sam and John had shared a glance. They had interrogated a lot of people who witnessed supernatural stuff and their statements all started pretty much like Jess'.

"Jess look at me. I need to know what happened! You can trust me, please just tell me!" Sam said after they sat down.

Jess sighed. "I guess it must sound crazy... I was hanging out with friends. And it got late, so one of Nicky's friends brought me home. I said goodnight and went inside. I was tired, so I just wanted to go to sleep... suddenly, out of nowhere there was this guy in the room. I swear he just appeared out of thin air... his back was turned to me, but he pretty much looked like you. And then the lights went off. And I couldn't move. But somehow my body moved back against the wall." Jess said and tears ran down her face... remembering the traumatic scene she went through.

Sam just hugged here, while he and John shared another look. It really sounded like the demon. Although they never knew how he killed Mary.

"The man in the room turned around to me... and his eyes were yellow. Just like animal eyes... And then my body suddenly moved along the wall, up to the ceiling. I swear I am not making this up... god, I thought I was going to die." Jessica whispered.

Sam was still holding her in his arms, but said nothing.

"... and then. Suddenly the door opened and Nicky's friend came running in. He had a gun in his hands and was yelling at the demon. I didn't really understand it. Something like: _"you don't have the right... against the rules" _I can't remember... and suddenly I fell back to the floor, but Nicky's friend caught me. Then he told me to run and I shouldn't look back... so I ran... But before I went out of the house I heard him screaming and then there was fire everywhere... I told the firemen that he was still in there. But they told me, that they couldn't find anybody..." Jess finished her story. "He saved my life!"

Sam didn't know what to say. He couldn't really tell her that it was going to be okay, or anything else. He was just glad the she wasn't dead.

"Do you know the name of the guy who saved you?" John suddenly interrupted the silence.

"His name was Dean... Dean Murphy." Jess said.

"What?" Sam whispered. "Dean... oh my god, Dean!" Sam said and jumped up, running toward the still burning house.

"Sam!" Jess yelled after him, totally confused.

"Stay here!" John ordered Jessica and ran after his son.

* * *

Dean watched the scene from afar.

"You know, you could say hello to them, right?" a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah sure... and getting them involved. No thanks. I can't even believe that you are telling me this." Dean said calmly.

"Dean, by now you must have realized that they are getting involved, unimportant what you do." the voice said.

"We had a deal!" Dean said angrily. Tired of repeating it...

"Yeah and he is a demon. Demon's lie." the voice simply said.

"And still he couldn't kill her. I made the deal with my blood and as long as I keep my part, he won't be able to hurt them or involve them." Dean said half smirking.

"Dean, they are on our trail... They only arrived minutes after you intervened. And Sam is involved now too. They are determined to find you. You really think you can hide much longer." the voice said with pity.

"You want them involved?" Dean asked pissed again. The voice didn't answer. "I thought so. So stop the crap... they will stop searching eventually." Dean whispered.

Neither of them said a word, they just watched. The house burning. Sam trying to get in the house and John trying to calm him down. Jessica totally confused.

"Poor girl!" Suddenly a second voice interrupted.

"Did somebody invite you?" Dean said pissed. He really hated her.

"He wants to see you... You know, he is really pissed." the second voice said.

"Because he underestimated me. Did he really think I am stupid." Dean asked. "I guess he is getting old... Even my Dad noticed the signs. What do you say about that, Meg?" Dean said.

Meg glared at him. "You are going to break, soon... and I can't wait for it." she hissed.

"He tried the last two years... and I am still me. Hell can't get worse!" Dean just said.

The next second the place the three had been, was empty.

Tbc

_So what do you think? Liked it, hated it? Want more? _


	3. The package

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author:**0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John

**Warnings:** Dark and a lot of angst

**Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.

**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

* * *

**Chapter 3: The package**

_Previously_

"_Do you know the name of the guy who saved you?" John suddenly interrupted the silence._

"_His name was Dean... Dean Murphy." Jess said._

"_What?" Sam whispered. "Dean... oh my god, Dean!" Sam said and jumped up, running toward the still burning house._

"_Sam!" Jess yelled after him, totally confused._

"Stay here!" John ordered Jessica and ran after his son.

_Meg glared at him. "You are going to break, soon... and I can't wait for it." she hissed._

"_He tried the last two years... and I am still me. Hell can't get worse!" Dean just said._

_The next second the place the three had been, was empty._

* * *

Dean sat in the corner of his room, trying desperately not to move. Because every little move he did, hurt like hell. The demon did a good job this time – he definitely had been pissed.

Dean just tried to sit there, simply existing, not even thinking – because even that hurt. This time the demon had played with his mind.. let him see people who weren't there. Let the people tell him thinks, which would have killed him, if it had been really them. But Dean had fought like hell. Never let the demon get to him.

The demon won't break him so easily. He couldn't the last two years and in Dean's opinion it won't change soon, either. Not as long as he has to make sure that his deal won't be broken.

Dean waited, waited for his wounds to heal, waited for the pain to assuage. Waited for the day all this would end.

Dean was exhausted, he wished he could simply close his eyes – even just for a few minutes – and drift off, to some place ... any place, but here. Forgetting the pain for just a minute...

But he didn't dare. The last two years he hadn't really slept. Some part of him was always awake, always alert, never letting his guard down. He knew that the second he became incautious, the demon would be all over him.

But he was Dean Winchester after all. It simply won't happen and he smirked.

Then he noticed that somebody else was in the room now too.

"God, Dean. You look horrible... " the voice said. "I am so sorry! I never wanted this to happen..." it added quietly.

Dean just looked at the person in front of him. "You mean it? I mean what did you expect? You can't have been so naive. I mean the first time could have been an accident. But doing the mistake twice... Come on – you simply can't say you are sorry... you can't say you never wanted this to happen... Because you must have known!" Dean hissed in pain.

The person was hurt, Dean could see it in the eyes...

"It never had been a mistake... and it never had been an accident. I simply had hope, that things would turn out okay!" the person said. "You seriously wish that I had done it only once?" the person further asked Dean.

He didn't answer. Only closed his eyes... he hadn't answered, not because he didn't want to say it, but because he simply didn't know. _Maybe it would have been easier. Maybe he would have accepted his fate... but was life even worth living, without it?_

There was silence for a while... silence, both people needed...

But then the other person decided to talk about the reason why it actually came.

"You know... I have been thinking..." the voice said.

"Oh, good for you. Can't really do that now, because my head hurts like hell." Dean said sarcastically.

The person looked at him sadly... but continued. "You know. Your father and brother arrived pretty fast. I mean, they came just a few minutes too late to safe Jessica themselves." the voice said.

Dean looked at the person for a while... "Well, I guess Dad is cleverer than we thought." he answered after a while.

"Dean!" the voice said seriously.

"Why are you even asking me, when you already know the answer?" Dean said outworn.

"Because I want to know how much you know." the voice said.

"Fine." Dean said now seriously and sighed. "I guess Sammy hasn't slept well the last month." Dean said, while avoiding the other person's eyes.

The other person looked shocked for a while. "A month? Why didn't you say anything... that changes everything. You know that, Dean, right... I mean now that Sam is involved and even already has visions..." the person said – trying to get the whole picture.

"It changes, nothing!" Dean said angrily. "How often do I have to say it..."

"Dean... you sold yourself for Sam's safety, but the second he breaks you, he can make you undo the deal... you know that." the person said loud. "... and when he learns that Sam's powers finally start to develop... he will do everything to break you..." the person said with tears in the eyes.

"I won't break..." Dean said quietly. His head hurt like hell...

"Dean..." the voice said. "Simply undo the deal, please. Let him get Sam and you two can figure out a way to deal with this together..." the person begged – hating to see Dean like that.

"... and tell him the truth. I couldn't do this to him..." Dean said and closed his eyes. Giving the other person a sign to leave. And so it did.

* * *

"Sam stop... he isn't in there." John said, holding his son back, before he ran into a house in flames.

"But Dean..." Sam trembled, breaking down in his father's arms and John just held him, waiting till Sam caught himself again.

"He saved Jessica... what did the demon do to him? I still don't understand..." Sam whispered... letting go of his father.

"Neither do I... but we will keep searching and we will find him, I promise." John said and Sam nodded.

"Now lets go over to your girlfriend – I guess you have some explaining to do." John said and they went back to Jessica.

Sam told her that his brother was missing and hearing his name had made him snap. They discussed the situation for a while as they had no place to live now... and after a few phone calls with her parents, Jessica decided to stay at her parents house for a few days – much to Sam's satisfaction, as he wasn't so sure that she was safe yet.

He himself would go with his father, searching for his brother – for once in his hunter's life, he didn't need to lie.

Caleb arrived after a while and he offered to drive Jessica to her parents house, which she accepted, after Sam told her that it would ease his mind.

When they said goodbye, Caleb promised Sam to keep an eye on Jessica and he told John to call him, whenever he needed him or when he heard something new.

* * *

"So you think, now is maybe a good time to talk about that dream you had." John said when they went over to the Impala.

"I guess it was just a dream after all... I mean she didn't die, right. It was probably just the stress." Sam said, not looking at his father.

"You said yourself that you had these dreams for over a month. Just don't lie to yourself Sammy... it probably only didn't happen, because Dean intervened." John said. He didn't want to believe it himself, but he has seen to much Supernatural to simply ignore this one – and with the demon as their enemy, he needed to consider everything.

"What do you want me to say? That I seemingly can see the future or something?" Sam said angrily. This was just crazy.

Father and son were glaring at each other for a while. Finally John gave in – a move Sam wasn't used to... Dean's disappearance really changed his father.

"Well, lets simply see if it happens again, okay! We should look that we find Dean..." John said.

"And what do you suggest? Wait for the firemen to go away and sneak in, to search for a trace? Searching for more informations about this Travis? Or are you trying to find the demon with the signs he leaves?" Sam asked.

"Actually I thought about something else... Sam why were you so sure that the Dean who saved Jessica, was you brother?" John asked rhetorically.

Sam blinked twice, confused... and then it hit him. "Because he called himself Dean Murphy. Like Jim Murphy, Pastor Jim." Sam realized.

"Right... and Dean knows what he is doing. He could have called himself all names, so we wouldn't know that it was him. But he said Dean and he said Murphy... and I am pretty sure that he wants to give us a hint..." John said.

"You think Pastor Jim knows something about Dean's disappearance?" Sam asked.

"No. He helped me in this two years a lot to find Dean... He would have told me. But I think that Dean might be in Minnesota." John said.

"Dad, that's vague. You must admit that!" Sam said.

"I am not saying that we are driving there now. But we could check for things happening there and I will ask Jim if he knows anything new..." John simply said. "I simply think that Dean is giving us the name for a reason and it's our best trace." John said and Sam nodded.

John opened the trunk of the Impala to place his gun back in the car... that was when he remembered the package from Jim for Sam. "By the way... Here! Jim told me to give this to you." John said and gave Sam the package.

The package had the size of a bigger lunch box and was wrapped in a lot of newspapers.

Sam unwrapped it and it revealed a wooden case and an envelope pasted on the lid. Sam looked at it confused... his father was busy with the guns, not really watching.

Sam opened the envelope first and took out a piece of paper and stared at it for a few seconds. Not moving, shocked. He was trembling and John was finally looking up and saw Sam's pale face.

"Sammy you're okay?" he asked and his gaze fell on the case that was lying on the roof of the car.

That made John freeze. He had seen the case once – it was a long time ago... but he never forgot it. Everybody would see a normal wooden case, but he knew what's supposed to be in there.

John just wanted to reach over to the case, when Sam passed the piece of paper over to his father, breathing heavily and paralyzed.

John took the paper, still looking at the box. He slowly looked down on the paper and when he read the text he had problem's to breath normally. He knew now that the object was still in the case.

"I think we know now why Dean chose Murphy as his last name." Sam whispered. He tried to forget what he just read, because it simply made no sense...

Sam just wanted to reach for the case and open it, when John grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Not here Sammy. Don't open it in public... we get a room, protect us and then we are going to talk about this..." John said weakly... Sam didn't know what else to say and simply nodded.

* * *

They made protection rings of salt and other stuff they knew, to keep everything outside...

The whole ride both men hadn't talked, both needed to deal with what had happened the last hours. So when they finally felt safe, Sam placed the case on the nightstand and the open letter next to it.

The two sat on their beds, opposite to each other.

After a while Sam's hands moved over to the case. He hesitated for a second... and opened the box.

Sam just stared at it. Not really understanding – it must be a bad dream...

John looked away sadly – he had hoped somehow it was just a joke... or that the object wasn't there anymore... but there it was. Lying in front of him in the box, the Colt and four bullets. The gun made by Samuel Colt, a gun which is supposed to kill everything.

John had to smirk, even if he knew it wasn't funny.

"Dad?" Sam asked confused.

"This gun was made by Samuel Colt for a hunter, and a legend says that this gun can kill anything." John told Sam.

"Anything, like Supernatural anything?" Sam asked.

John nods. "I saw the gun once... my mentor, well the person who taught me a lot about demon hunting, he had it. He showed it to me once... I guess you were six years old." John told further.

"I can't remember... you never mentioned him..." Sam said.

"Well he was a careful man, I never took you there... well I guess I left you in the car that night." John said and Sam decided that it wasn't the time to argue with his father about his educational methods.

"The point is that I asked him to give it to me, to kill the demon..." John said. "... but he was stubborn and refused. Not even sure why he even showed me the gun... Well of course I wasn't satisfied with a no, so I went there again the next day. But the second I arrived there, Elkins was yelling at me. It was a damn fight... Probably comparable to the one we two had when you left for Stanford." John said with a smirk and Sam had to smirk too. All this seemed so unimportant now.

"He accused me that I have stolen the gun... I of course didn't know what he was talking about and always thought that it was a bad trick on his side, so I wouldn't ask for the gun... Well the fight ended so messy, that I haven't seen him since then." John finished his story. "And all the time Dean had the gun... I guess he is cleverer than I thought he was." John said and Sam looked sad.

"But I still don't get it... why this gun..." Sam asked...

He looked once again at the paper on the nightstand.

The letter was short, but still so meaningful.

"Sammy.

The next time you see me: KILL ME!!!

Love,

Dean

P.S. Don't show anybody... except for Dad."

"Maybe... maybe he is possessed by a demon. Maybe he thinks it's the only way to kill him." John said quietly.

"But he saved Jessica... he can't be possessed..." Sam said.

"Maybe he wasn't that moment... hell... Sam I don't know." John said angrily and stood up, pacing around in the room.

After awhile John took out his mobile and dialed a number.

"Whom are you calling." Sam asked.

"Jim... he has a hell of explaining to do!" John said angrily. Sam didn't complain. He was looking at the letter again and traced the writing with his fingers.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me!" John yelled in the phone.

"John?" they could hear Pastor Jim's confused voice. John placed the mobile on the table.

"When did you see him? I thought you wanted to help..." John said still loud.

"John what are you talking about. What happened?" Pastor Jim asked alarmed.

"The box you gave me, for Sammy. What else?!" John said now calmer.

"I don't know what is in it. I promised Dean I wouldn't look." Jim said still confused.

"So Dean gave it to you. When? Why didn't you tell me!" John asked.

"John I would have told you if I had thought that it has anything to do with Dean's disappearance... but Dean gave it to me when he was ten, I am pretty sure it's..." Jim told the father.

"Ten.." John asked unbelievingly and Sam was looking confused at his father too.

"Yes... it was one of the occasions when you left the boys at my place... it was night and I actually thought Dean was already asleep but he came in my room and seemed pretty upset. So we talked... Dean asked me if I would keep a secret for him and I said yes. He gave me the package and told me to take care of it. I should protect it, like it was the most important thing in the world and I assured him I would. Then he told me, god he was just a kid... he said if anything bad was ever going to happen to him, I should give this to Sammy. I told him that nothing bad would happen to him, but the boy had this serious look in his eyes and so I promised him I would do as he told. He seemed satisfied and happy after that and we never talked about it again... I don't think Dean meant this kind of situation, but I thought Sam should get it nevertheless... I had it with me because I thought Sam would show up sooner or later..." Jim told the story. "John, anything I need to know. Or can I help?" Jim asked.

"No... no.. it's okay. Thanks. I will call you when I know more." John said and he hung up.

"Ten?!" Sam repeated. "Dad, this doesn't make any sense."

But Sam looked at the letter again and he indeed noticed that the writing was the one of a kid and not of an adult.

"Why would Dean write this, when he is ten?" Sam asked confused, tired and broken.

"I don't know Sammy... I don't know." John said and sat down again. He felt so tiered right now and he knew it wasn't because he checked out of the hospital too early.

But before they could talk any further about the subject, Sam's phone rang. He looked at the display, but he didn't know the number.

"Yeah." Sam answered the phone.

"Is this Sam Winchester?" a scared female voice asked and Sam was alert immediately.

"Yes..." he said.

"My name is Meg Miller. Something is wrong with my brother, Max... You need to help me, please!" the voice said begging and near tears.

"Meg... calm down. Where did you get my number from?" Sam asked confused.

"Dean... you brother. He said in case I can't reach him, I should call you." Meg said.

"Dean... when did you met him..." Sam asked and activated the loudspeaker system of his phone, so his Dad could listen too.

"Three years ago... he was a friend of Travis." Meg said. "Please, you need to help me. Something isn't right here." Meg begged.

Sam looked at his father and he nodded. "Meg where are you?" he asked.

"Saginaw, Michigan." Meg said relieved.

"We are coming as fast as we can..." Sam promised.

* * *

Meg smiled at her real brother Tom, when she hung up, satisfied with herself.

"They are going to be here as fast as they can." Meg smirked evilly.

"Clever move, to bring Travis in the game." Tom said.

"They needed a bait... and you know how much I loved Travis – it was so much fun to kill him, with John Winchester waiting outside in his car." Meg remembered.

"Better make sure that Dean doesn't find out about this or we will be involved in the deal too." her brother answered.

"Dean is an idiot... but I can't wait to see little Sammy, he will be so much fun..." Meg said and smirked...

tbc.

* * *

I know I changed the story with the colt a little bit, but I needed this – may Kripke forgive me (okay as it is AU all in all and a fanfic... I hope he won't mind ;) ).

Hope you still like the chapter. I would love to get some comments (you can criticize too)...


	4. Cat and Mouse

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John  
**Warnings:** Dark and a lot of angst  
**Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.  
**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes. And thanks a lot for all the great reviews ;).

**For family's sake**

**Chapter 4: Cat and Mouse**

Dean tensed the second Meg appeared in his room. The fact that the demons appeared everywhere they want whenever they want, still crept him out, even after two years.

He didn't even know what the fun was about it. When he had been a kid he had loved the rides with his father and Sammy. Driving from one city to another. It hasn't changed when he grew up. The Impala was his baby. Dean could even remember the times with his mother. It had been a family tradition. Every Sunday they took the Impala and drove to the park to make a picnic – it had been his favorite time... a family moment, in innocence.

"What do you want?" Dean asked. He had his back turned to her, looking out the window – it was night, so he couldn't really see a thing, but that didn't matter.

"Just wanted to look how you are doing." Meg said, but grinned and her voice didn't seem very concerned.

"Disappointed, I guess. Well, I told you I wouldn't break so easily." Dean said calm, although he would really love to simply hit her... even if she was a girl. He seriously didn't know why but she caused this feeling every time they met, which wasn't really rare.

"You will Dean. Sooner or later you will and then Sammy is all ours." Meg whispered in his ear, she was standing behind him now.

Dean tensed, but he didn't do anything. "You won't get him. He is too clever for you... and he has me. Trust me Meg – you won't win this fight." he said and now he grinned.

"... I guess we will see! There is another thing... Sammy and your Dad are on their way to Saginaw. I guess they found another lead..." Meg said calmly.

Now Dean turned around fast and with a quick move he pinned Meg against the wall. "Wow... I didn't know you like it rough." Meg said with a smirk.

"If you have anything to do with the fact that they are coming here, you will suffer the consequences. The deal I made with your father was clear – it involves you too... and your brother too." Dean said seriously. "Stay away from my family!" he hissed in her ear.

"All your family?" Meg asked, but Dean didn't answer. Finally Meg pushed Dean's hands away. "You should really learn to relax Dean. It would make your life so much easier... I have nothing to do with their coming... they simply seem cleverer than we expected." she said.

"I guess we should go then." Dean said.

"Max is 20 years old since a week, he is ready. Father doesn't want to lose him... we will stay till then." Meg said on her way to the door and left.

Dean looked at the closed door for a while and started to smirk then.

* * *

John was staring at the street... only a few miles left to Saginaw. And maybe these few miles will finally get them near Dean too.

John had been driving the whole drive, with coffee to keep him awake, although Sam had offered a few times to drive... but John had so much in his mind, that he couldn't sleep right now.

John looked at the passenger seat for a second. Sam was sleeping, but it seemed that he at least wasn't having a nightmare. John still didn't know if it was a coincidence or if something was really wrong...

All this was a mess and the big fear that something bad was happening to his eldest was driving him crazy – since he went missing two years ago. Especially the new fact that the demon was involved, was killing him... the demon who killed his wife years ago.

He wouldn't allow it to happen again...

And then there was the note... and the gun – safely hidden in the trunk. John had thought that he had nearly figured everything out... but all this wasn't making any sense... and it was giving him headaches and lack of sleep.

He drove faster...

* * *

Sam and John were looking at the playground. Meg had told them that she wanted to meet at a public point and so they had agreed to meet here. Sam had called her before they arrived and she had said that she would need ten minutes.

The city seemed so peaceful but Sam had a really bad feeling, although he couldn't say why. Of course he didn't tell his father, because he would make a big deal out of it, again.

John watched the children play... and remembered the time when Mary had still been alive and he and Dean would go to the playground, while Sammy was at home with his mom.

Dean had been such a gleeful kid and pretty active and wild too. There was this fire in his eyes. He liked the risky stuff, like jumping from the top of a climbing scaffold – it had scared John like hell when he had seen it the first time... but Dean had good instincts and had landed safely on the ground... that had been Dean before his mother died. After her death he hadn't recognized Dean... he had been quiet, too quiet. He never left his side and he especially never left Sammy's side.

Later, when Dean started to talk again... it was different. His cheerful boy never fully came back, he had changed like John had. But sometimes on a hunt, John had seen the fire in the eyes again. But John hadn't been so sure if he was glad about it...

Both Winchesters were pulled out of their thoughts when there was a sudden knock on the passenger sides window. Both jolted. They had been so focused on the playground that they hadn't seen the girl, standing next to their car.

Sam wound the window down...

"Are you Sam Winchester." the blond girl asked. She seemed unsure. A trait which somehow didn't really fit with the girl – Sam and John thought.

"Yeah, you Meg Miller?" Sam asked still confused.

Meg nodded.

"Get in..." Sam said and she sat down in the back seat.

"I am John..." John said. He thought it was cleverer to say his real name, as Meg knew Dean and Sam's name.

"His father... he told me you are a great hunter." Meg said shyly. Again the Winchesters thought that it didn't fit...

John only nodded. He thought it was strange that Dean told Meg so much about their family.

"Can you tell us how you met Dean..." John asked.

Meg looked at him for a while and finally nodded.

"I remember that the first thing that caught my attention was the car... this car." Meg said, which made Sam twitch.

"Travis was a friend of the family... and we had problems... with our old home. Things happened – well it's not so important. The thing is that Travis brought Dean with him and told us Dean could help. And he did..." Meg said.

"When Dean left, he told me I could call whenever I needed help and in case I couldn't reach him, I should call Sam." Meg ended her story. It sounded plausible.

"I need you help – please." Meg said and tears were running down her eyes.

"What happened?" Sam asked concerned.

"My father, he died a week ago." Meg said...

"My condolences." Sam said.

Meg nodded. "They say it's suicide...My uncle died yesterday, beheaded by the kitchen window." And Meg half laughed sarcastically and half sobbed.

John and Sam looked at her shocked.

"We... are sorry." Sam said.

"They were not the ideal adults... they hurt Max a lot when he was little – Max is my brother." Meg said and looked down to the floor.

"But I fear that Max is doing this... I don't know how, but I don't really know what happened in our old house either. I am just scared that he will hurt more people. Like my stepmother..." Meg said.

"Meg, this doesn't really seem like a supernatural case... did you talk to the police?" Sam asked unsure.

"I don't want to lose my brother. He is the most important person in my life... I would die for him. I just don't want anything bad happening to him. You must understand that Sam, right." Meg said desperately.

Sam felt unsure. He didn't know why, but there was something strange about this Meg.

"Please, just talk to him once. Look if you find anything strange..." Meg begged now and finally John nodded.

"Tell me how to get to your home." he said and started the car.

* * *

Tom had watched the whole scene from afar and smiled. Everything was going according to plan ... and Meg was really a good actress. If this worked out, the end of the world wasn't far.

Their father would be proud of them.

* * *

When they arrived at the house, it was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. Both Sam and John felt it, but they didn't tell Meg.

"Let's go in..." John said. He fumbled for his gun and so did Sam, making sure that they were prepared.

They went over to the house and Meg opened the door – with the keys she had stolen earlier.

"Max, mom... I am home. I brought visitors." Meg said in the quiet house, but there was no response.

Meg looked unsure but she stepped further in the house and Sam and John followed, closing the door quietly behind them.

Meg stepped in the kitchen and her face turned into horror. She just wanted to scream when Sam held a hand on her mouth, to muffle her voice.

Meg tried to get out of Sam's grip, but he held her and turned her away from the horror scene.

John who was right behind Sam already had his gun in the hands, looking disgusted at the scene in the kitchen. Obviously the mother was killed... with a knife launched through her right eye.

Sam was still holding Meg and moved towards the door, his father following behind him. But when Sam tried to open the door, it shut again and the shutters closed.

Sam, Meg and John looked around them confused.

"Who are you." a maybe 20 year old man stood at the entrance of the kitchen. He seemed confused, broken but also determined.

"Max..." Meg freed herself from Sam, tears running down her face.

"I said who are you?" Max repeated.

"It's me Meg... your sister!" Meg said, looking confused.

"I don't have a sister..." Max said and with these words the gun in John's hands flew away in Max's hands.

"What the hell..." John whispered as he noticed what just happened.

"Oh my god." Meg whispered... but Sam was simply looking at Max. Sam didn't know why, but the second he saw Max there had been some kind of connection. Some kind of familiarity.

"What do you people want?" Max said and was pointing the gun at the three.

"We just want to talk..." Sam suddenly said and stepped in front of his father and Meg. He was holding his hand up – defenseless.

"Sam." John hissed.

"Trust me Dad. Just this once, please trust me." Sam whispered and John looked at his son, hurt. Finally he nodded.

"Who are you." Max said, confused.

"You feel it too, right?" Sam asked slowly. Max didn't answer. "My name is Sam. Sam Winchester... and I just want to help, please..." he said.

"Nobody can help me." Max said.

"Let me try, please. Just... just let us talk okay. Only you and me... While we get Meg and my Dad out of here." Sam said.

"I am not leaving you here." John said.

"Dad.." Sam whispered... but suddenly the lamp above them began to wiggle.

"Nobody leaves the house." Max hissed and he was pointing the gun at Sam.

"Okay, nobody has to. You have the upper hand here, we all know that. Just let us go upstairs okay. Fife minutes... only fife minutes, okay." Sam said fast.

"Sam..." John said. He seriously didn't know what his son was planning.

Sam glared at his father for a second... and finally the lamp above them stopped to move.

"Okay... fife minutes." Max said. "You two go in there!" Max said and pointed to his parents bedroom.

"Dad, please... don't do anything stupid. I can handle this." Sam said begging to his father.

"Max..." Meg said to Max again, but it only caused John and Meg to fell a push in the bedroom's direction.

"Now!" Max said angrily.

"Please." Sam formed with his lips and finally John took Meg by her arm and lead her towards the bedroom. When they were in, the door slammed shut, without anybody touching it and it locked itself.

"Go." Max said, while Sam was still looking at the door.

* * *

When they sat down Max started to uplift a letter opener with his mind.

"Max... your sister told us that your father and your uncle hurt you when you were little." Sam said slowly.

"I don't have a sister." Max said and Sam didn't argue about it, he thought that Max maybe simply ignored it.

"It wasn't only when I was little... try last month. My father had a bad day again and decided to beat the crap out of me..." Max told Sam and Sam really felt sorry for Max.

"... and when I turned 20 last week. It was like a blessing. Because that was the first time I noticed I have these powers. And I finally knew what to do... to make this alright." Max said.

"Why didn't you simply go away? Leave all this." Sam said thinking about what he did when everything had been too much for him.

"It's not about getting away. It's about not being afraid anymore. They can never hurt me again." May said... Sam didn't answer to that.

"When my Dad looked at me, there was always hate in his eyes." Max said. "You know how that is?" he asked. Sam hesitated but finally shook his head. "no." Sam whispered.

"He blamed me for everything. Even for my Mom's death." Max said, half laughing.

"Why?" Max asked confused. Meg had told them in the car that their mother died when Max was still a baby.

"There was a fire in my nursery... and my father said she was pinned to the ceiling, with her stomach sliced open... of course that was just him having too many drinks." Max said, while Sam turned white. All this can't be coincidences. He heard or saw the story for the third time in two days. First this Travis guy, then the dream about Jessica and now Max's mother... and of course his own mother's death.

"Max listen. This story about your mother. It's real... it happened to my mother too... and... and I am having these visions." Sam finally realized. "You felt the connection when you saw me, right. The demon ... we were chosen..." Sam was talking to himself, while Max looked at Sam as if he was crazy. "You are crazy!" Max said and before Sam could do a thing he was flying through the room in the closet and the door slammed shut and Max moved a cupboard in front of it.

"No!" Sam yelled, but Max was already moving downstairs to his parents bedroom.

* * *

Sam tried desperately to open the door, but to no avail. Suddenly his head began to hurt like hell.

_Sam was eight years old and it was night. His father was on a hunt again and had left Dean and Sam alone at home – much to Dean's anger. _

_Sam had been asleep till now, but he awoke because he felt something cold on his cheek. At first he thought Dean was playing a prank on him again._

_But suddenly he realized that it was something else. There was somebody else in the room... and a cold hand was touching his cheek._

"_I wouldn't move if I were you, little boy." A croaking voice whispered near his ear and it scared Sam to hell. He felt how his body suddenly went cold and he tried desperately to move or cry for help, but this demon was doing something to him that paralyzed him._

_Suddenly the door flew open and Dean stepped in... but from his position Sam could see that Dean wasn't armed._

"_Leave him alone..." Dean said brave._

"_And what do you intend to do?" the demon asked smirking._

_Dean just looked at the demon. Within a second the demon was standing in front of Dean and his claw like hands were boring into Dean's body and Sam was hearing Dean screaming._

"Dean!" Sam yelled scared and he heard how the cupboard in front of the closet moved away.

* * *

John had tried to open the door or windows, but there was no escape. And suddenly the door opened slowly, without a person opening it. And slowly afterwards Max entered.

Meg immediately jumped up from the bed and John went in front of her, to protect her.

"Where is Sam." John asked as there was no sign of his son. He got scared.

"He won't be able to help you..." Max said pointing the gun at John and Meg. "Now tell me who you are!" Max said to Meg.

"I am your sister. Max, please stop this!" Meg said with tears in her eyes.

"You are lying... I don't have a sister." But Max seemed unsure... and then he let the gun hovering on it's own.

"Okay Max calm down." John said.

"Max, please. You don't have to do this... Max! We can go through this. I won't leave you alone." Meg said desperately.

"Shut up... just shut up!" Max said and he was holding hie head.

"Max please!" Meg whispered... this finally caused Max to lose it. Nobody saw it coming... the gun went off and the bullet went through Meg's chest.

"No!" John screamed... but the gun was pointing at him now.

This second Sam ran into the room, his gun pointed at Max.

"No. Don't. Please Max!... We can help you... but this... isn't the solution!" Sam said.

Max looked at Sam for a few second and finally his face calmed down. He nodded slightly. "You are right." Max whispered, focusing on Sam's gun. And Sam couldn't prevent his gun going off and shooting Max in the head.

"No!" both Winchesters screamed... but it was too late.

John saw the desperate look on his son's face but there was something more important.

He kneed down next to Meg. He laid his hand on her wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

She was barely breathing.

"Meg, I need you to tell me something about Travis. How do you know him. How did Dean met him... please." he said.

Sam who had come nearer looked at his father unbelievingly. The poor girl was dying... and his father...

Meg was looking at him with big eyes. "... the warehouse... in the woods..." she whispered. She tried to say more... but her body weakened and she finally took her last breath.

John looked sadly at the girl and stood up.

He took out a cloth and started to erase their fingerprints...

"We should leave." John said...

* * *

They drove in silence... John knew Sam was mad at him and he didn't blame him. He knew he was acting cruel more and more... but his sons were the most important people in the world – and for them he would do anything.

He was searching for Dean so long... he was tired and his heart was a mess, broken by the thoughts what might has happened...

"Dad... you remember when I was eight... you went after a Wendigo in Michigan?" Sam said after a while...

John thought for a while – he actually hadn't expected Sam to start the conversation like that.

"Yes, why?" John asked.

"When you came back... has anything happened? Was Dean injured or something." Sam asked. John looked at his son confused.

"No, no injuries... trust me Sam. Things like that I would never forget." John assured. "Why are you asking?"

"...I ... I just remembered this night... but there is some kind of blank, like I am missing something, a lost memory... not so important." Sam said and shrugged. "Dad, where are you driving?" Sam suddenly asked confused.

"Searching us a Motel, to stay the night." John said as if it was obvious.

"You just let Meg's last words be about a warehouse in the woods and now you won't even go there?" Sam asked angrily... his mind was a mess, every second something new happened that only caused more questions and this made Sam tired, but also frustrated, which caused aggression. He would have been prepared for fight.

"We both are a mess. We need some sleep to think clearly... and we don't even know what to expect, it could be nothing, another trace or a trap." John said.

"Or Dean." Sam whispered.

"I have this feeling that something isn't right here... we need to be prepared. We will go to the warehouse in the morning." John said.

"Go? That will be a long walk." Sam mumbled and John had to smirk.

"That's all you learned in collage?" he asked.

Tbc

Okay I obviously changed the storyline of "Nightmares" and I know that it doesn't fit to the time line either, but as said in the previous chapter – hope you and Kripke don't mind ;) .

And sorry that it took so long. I actually had it ready for a week already, but wasn't quiet satisfied. The problem was that I already know what is going to happen in the next few chapters, but I couldn't push it so fast, so I needed a filler (this chapter)... well, hope you like it nevertheless ;). There are hopefully some answers in the next chapter.


	5. Family Reunion

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John  
**Warnings:** Dark and a lot of angst  
**Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.  
**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

I actually expected this to be written easily. But there are so many thoughts in my head which I have to tell you, so you will understand it finally... that it somehow was still hard work ;).

Enjoy this chapter and hope for some reviews ;) ... and of course thanks to everybody who reviewed. You made my day.

* * *

**For family's sake**

**Chapter 5: Family Reunion**

"Father wants you to do a job" Tom said coldly.

"I am still not killing anybody." Dean answered the same way.

"You won't need to... totally depends on you." Tom said, hatred in his eyes.

"So?" Dean asked, not really exited to do the job, but he knew he had no other choice.

"Max is coming to the warehouse, tomorrow. Prepare him – the others can't wait for it." Tom said with a smirk, while Dean looked at him disgusted.

"I guess I can do that on my own!" Dean said determined.

"You sure? You are not going to faint or something." Tom said sarcastically. Dean just glared at him. "Don't ruin this Dean, or father is going to punish you really hard... but you must be used to it, right." Tom said.

"Leave him alone." the voice said. Appearing out of nowhere.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Tom hissed at the new arriver.

"Your father wants to see you." the person simply said... and Tom disappeared, glaring once again at the other two people in the room.

"I can take care of myself. I don't need you to defend me." Dean said angrily.

"Dean... Dean listen to me. Be careful, they are all getting impatient. Max is the first one of this generation, they can't wait to strike... Don't forget that they want Sam." the voice said.

Dean looked thoughtful, but the other person couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

"I can handle this, I can handle Max... Just stay away, all of you. Simply trust me!" Dean said determined and the other person nodded.

* * *

As every night the two Winchesters made a salt line at the doors and windows...

"So what's the plan?" Sam asked after a while.

"We check out this warehouse... tomorrow morning. We go in prepared. It could be anything, nothing, the demon or Dean. This is important Sammy. So listen carefully. I know you hate it, but I need you to follow my orders. I need to know that I can trust you!" John said determined and looked into his son's eyes. Sam looked back, smiled slightly and nodded.

"I won't disappoint you. I promise Dad. This is about Dean..." Sam said and hesitated.

John was a little surprised by Sam's sudden obedience. "Sammy, you okay?" John asked concerned.

Sam sighed. "Remember, I talked to Max." Sam said.

"Yes, it was just an hour ago." John said

"He told me things... about his childhood..." Sam said slowly. Both men sat on opposite beds now. John didn't interrupt Sam, he sensed that something bad must have happened.

"... his father hit him... even a week before he died." Sam said looking on the floor.

"Sam... people sometimes are..." John tried to reassure Sam.

"I know... that's not the problem. The problem is, that it could have been you too." Sam interrupted his father calmly, but still not looking in his father's eyes.

"Sam I would never hurt you or Dean." John said shocked that Sam could even think that.

"No... you don't understand... The reason why Max's father even started was because he was sure that he saw Max's mother pinned to the ceiling and burning to death, in Max's nursery." Sam said and he finally looked up in his father's eyes.

John looked back, thoughtful.

"I guess we can be thankful that you wanted vengeance and brought us with on the trip." Sam said and smiled slightly. John nodded thankfully and smiled too. This was probably the best talk the two had for a while.

"You are welcome." John said and Sam nodded back.

"Dad, this can't be a coincidence. We are searching for Dean and this Travis guy burns on the ceiling, like Mom. And then a few days later we get a call to come here and learn that Max's mother died exactly like Mom. I mean Max is two years younger than me... all this... it doesn't make sense. Why is the demon killing all those people." Sam started after a while.

"Sam maybe it's about time to talk about the nightmares you have? You must have noticed it too, right. I mean Max using telekinesis and you foreseeing Jessica's attack?" John said calmly... He knew he was risking to destroy the bound they just created a few seconds ago, but this was important.

Sam didn't say a thing for a while and just as John thought he wouldn't answer, Sam talked.

"Max locked me in a closet and placed a big cabinet against the door. Well... I moved it." Sam said.

John looked confused for a while... "And?"

"I moved it... like Max." Sam informed him.

"Oh..." John said. Things were only getting better, he thought sarcastically.

"That's all you say? Oh... Dad!" Sam said angrily.

"Sam calm down!" John said calmly.

"I just confessed to you that I am a damn freak... and you are telling me to calm down. Are you even listening. I obviously have the power of telekinesis and I am having..." Sam said loud, pacing through the room.

"Sam... Sam!" John tried to get his son's attention and Sam finally looked at his father, a tear in his eye.

"Your mother's death wasn't your fault!" John said and looked in his son's eyes.

Sam looked away. "What are you talking about..." Sam said, looking down to his feet.

"Your mother's death isn't your fault." John repeated slowly and his heart broke as he saw Sam break down.

Sam started to tremble and he grabbed for the back of the chair to keep himself from falling to the ground.

"How ... can you say that... to me it seems pretty obvious that the demon was after me... Max or whoever else is out there." Sam said and now tears were really running down his face.

"And if I hadn't left for Stanford, Dean probably would still be here... he knew, he must have known that something was going to happen. He wanted to tell me before he left, but I wasn't listening. I was so damn selfish..." Sam said frustrated.

John was next to his son now and was leading him to the next bed.

"Shhh. It wasn't your fault... non of this was your fault." John soothed his son, near tears himself. Sam was sobbing now... he felt so lost. He didn't dare to believe in a world without his brother... but he felt that bad things were happening and he couldn't stop himself from thinking that he could have prevented all this if he only hadn't gone to Stanford.

"We will fix this. We will find Dean and we will make the demon pay! I promise." John whispered.

* * *

Sam awoke, feeling a hand stroking his hair. He felt safe for the moment – it was as if he was a child again and his father was still the superhero...

He stirred. "How late is it?" Sam mumbled, still half asleep.

"I actually had planned to be at the warehouse for over two hours." John said.

Sam awoke immediately. "What?" he asked shocked. "Why didn't you wake me."

"I told you you need you to watch my back... and you can't do it, not fully rested." John said obviously.

Both father and son totally ignored what had happened the night before, or at least they ignored to talk about it.

"Let's get something to eat. We can plan how we are doing this... and then we will he head over to the warehouse, okay." John suggested and Sam simply nodded. What was there to say.

* * *

It was a rainy day... the sky was dark.

It took the two Winchesters longer than expected to get to the warehouse – it actually was already noon, when John parked the car a few yards away from the warehouse.

They didn't really have a plan. They had checked everything they could find about this warehouse, but there wasn't really much. It was a simple warehouse, which was abandoned about ten years ago. Sometimes some vagabonds stayed there for a few days... but nothing more.

They would simply go in and check the place out, hoping to find a trace of Dean or of the demon.

Both armed themselves with the weapons they thought they could use and finally they made sure to hide the car a little more from curious people, but the car was still ready for a fast escape.

* * *

Sam and John went into the warehouse, guns loaded... ready to kill any demon that might get in their way. As outside, it was dark inside... but their trained hunters eyes had no problems to see everything necessary.

But there was nobody there, at least not in the first room. Sam checked the EMF-reader, but couldn't sense a thing. The two checked every corner, but they couldn't find a hint, so they decided to went over to the next room.

The second room was brighter, they couldn't figure out where the light came from, but they really had more important things to think about... because the second the two entered the room they immediately noticed the person standing at the other end of the room, looking at them.

Both stopped dead, not sure if they were seeing right. But when the truth finally hit them, they ran over to the figure...

"Dean!" Sam said surprised, mixed with relieve and happiness.

... but before John and Sam reached Dean, he slowly rose the gun in his hands and pointed it at his family members... and cocked the gun.

Both stopped dead, once again.

"Dean." was the only thing John could say, confused and sad.

"Dean, it's me Sam. Your brother." Sam tried to figure out what was going on,

Dean's expression, which had been blank till now, turned into a smirk. "Do I look stupid too you? I know who you are Sammy." he said.

"Then put the damn gun down." Sam said half angry, half confused.

"Oh can't do that Sammy. Because if I do it, you are going to hug me... and I am not really in the hugging, sharing mood at the moment, you know." Dean simply said.

Dean looked at if it was the most normal thing in the world, while Sam and John really didn't know how to react.

"Dean, just put the gun down. Let's talk about this." John said after a while.

Dean laughed. "Talk? Wasn't it you, who taught me: Shoot first, ask questions later." he asked sarcastically.

"Dean, we are not the enemy here... whatever the demon told you, it isn't true." Sam said desperately. Trying to get to Dean.

"Trust me Sammy... the demon knows what he is talking about..." Dean said and he looked sad for a second, but his expression turned blank again, a second later.

"... well except the fact, that he told me that I would meet somebody else here." Dean said casual.

"Whom? Travis? Meg?" John asked.

"Dad... you saw Travis burning on the ceiling. You know that he is dead." Dean said.

John looked shocked at his son. "So I wasn't hallucinating..." he whispered.

"Dad?" Sam asked confused. "What is it?"

"You were there, weren't you Dean?" John asked loud. "You killed Travis?!" he accused his oldest.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" Sam asked and was looking back and forth between his father and and his brother. Dean was looking coldly at his family.

"I told you that everything went black before I reached the door, when Travis burned up, right?" John asked Sam, while he was still looking at Dean.

"Yes..." Sam nodded.

"Well I didn't tell you everything, because I thought I had been hallucinating or something. Because I actually thought that I saw Dean a second before..." John told Sammy and now added to Dean: "You knocked me out that night, right? You wanted me dead? Burning up like your mom?" John asked disappointedly.

"... you think I wanted to kill you?" Dean asked and now he seemed hurt too.

"Well, I am not really sure that you are happy to see me... alive." John said.

"Dad!" Sam said horrified.

"Think whatever you want!" Dean said nonchalantly. But he glared at his father.

"Dean, no..." Sam said desperately... he was sure his brother would never hurt his Dad, but feared that John might think it.

But John figured Dean out, or at least he thought so. He knew that Dean hadn't tried to kill him. Probably saved him...

"Dean... why did you go? What happened? Who is Travis..." John asked slowly. Still feeling discomforting, as Dean was still pointing the gun at him and Sam... or rather in their direction than really pointing at them.

"Too many questions and too less time. As I said, I have an appointment. So it would be really great if you could leave now, as my appointment really likes privacy." Dean said bored.

"You are kidding, right?" Sam said unbelieving but as Dean didn't react, Sam became angry.

"You are serious. Fine. But in case you are waiting for Meg, she isn't coming." Sam said pissed.

Dean looked at them suspiciously and a little bit confused... and this time it wasn't all acting.

"What?" Dean only managed to say.

"Well, she is dead. Killed by her brother Max and right after he killed himself..." Sam explained angrily.

Now Dean turned white and the hand which was holding the gun was shaking.

"Dean?" John asked concerned.

"Max is dead... fuck... they are going to be mad..." Dean talked to himself. This new information really changed everything. He had less time than he had expected.

He had been in thoughts for a second, so he hadn't realized that the whole situation had changed again. That now the final game was seriously starting. When Dean focused again and saw it, his expression turned dark.

"I told you I can handle this alone!" he hissed.

"Dean what are you talking about?" Sam asked confused.

But a second later both, John and Sam heard two gun's being cocked and felt them pointed to their heads.

"I don't think he means you, Sammy-boy!" a too familiar voice whispered near Sam's ear.

"Meg?... what the hell... I thought you were dead..." Sam said and tried to turn his head...

"So Max told the truth... he hasn't got a sister." John realized.

"If I were you, I wouldn't move." Meg said to both Winchesters. Both Meg and Tom didn't even bother to check John and Sam for weapons... they didn't even take away the guns they had in their hands and John and Sam noticed it and it crept them out. It only meant that both were pretty strong and as good as invincible.

Meg turned to Dean now. "You seriously thought we would want to miss the fun?" Meg said in her sweet voice and Dean only glared at her... but now he finally lowered the gun.

"May I introduce? Meg and Tom..." Dean said sarcastically.

"Did you leave for her?" Sam asked...it was the first thing that came to his mind.

Dean looked at his little brother as if he wanted to hit him really hard, so he would get to senses again and Meg began to laugh evilly.

"Yeah. Dean loves me so much, don't you Dean?" Meg said.

"Go to hell... bitch!" Dean hissed. "She isn't really my type... but if you want, go ahead." Dean said to his brother.

"Oh, forgot... you have Jessica, right!" Dean said mockingly, and it really hurt Sam.

"Don't take it personal Sammy. It's just that Dean got the punishment of his life after he saved Jessica; after he dared to interrupt my Dad's work." Meg enlightened Sam and John, who got pale by the confession. "I guess Jessica isn't really his favorite topic."

Dean didn't say a thing, but glared at Meg.

"Dean..." Sam could only say.

"Oh and by the way... Dean actually really left you for a girl, didn't you Dean?" Meg said.

Again Dean didn't answer, but changed the subject. Things weren't really going according to plan. "So what's the plan, Meg? Now that Max is obviously dead." Dean asked.

"Hey, don't blame this on me. You were supposed to watch him. You could have told us that he is so mentally disturbed." Meg said now angrily. "I mean he killed his family before I showed up..." Meg said accusingly.

"Yeah and who's fault is it?" Dean asked. "What else did you expect, after all the stuff you let him went through." Dean said furiously.

"You are still so emotional when we talk about the subject. It's really funny. After all you know about it for years." Tom said amused... speaking for the first time.

"And if you want to blame somebody else? Then you should really blame little Sammy here. Let's say that he should never become a psychiatrist, because his patients would probably jump off the next roof after their first meeting with him." Meg said amused.

Neither Sam nor John did know how to react. They actually had problems to understand the real meaning of all this.

"You talked to Max?" Dean asked his brother calmly and Sam nodded. "He told you how his mother died, didn't he?" Dean asked further and Sam nodded again. Dean cursed...

"You want to know my plan? Well as everybody is here, why don't we simply talk about it. I am sure Sammy and John here would really love to do it." Meg said.

"You can't keep them here." Dean said and glared at Meg and Tom.

"Of course not. Does it look like it?" Tom said coldly, still pointing his gun at John's head.

"But what exactly is your plan? Run and hide again? Till they find you again?" Meg asked.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Dean said stubborn.

"Well I actually think that Sam should have a say in this too, don't you?" Meg said. "After all he is one of the main characters in this game." Meg said.

Dean glared at Meg. "Remember the damn deal." Dean hissed.

"Dean what is she talking about?" Sam asked confused... "Dean, talk to me!" Sam insisted.

"Conversation is over. I have more important things to do." Dean said and just wanted to leave the room...

"Wait, Dean... you are forgetting something." Tom stopped him and Dean turned around slowly.

"What?" Dean asked coldly.

"I know you got your little punishment there... but you crossed the line yourself. You partly went against your deal. Which means we either see it as undone or you let us run the show." Tom said and smiled at Dean, who got pale.

"No..." Dean whispered and closed his eyes.

"Yes!" Meg said. "...any complains?"

Dean sighed. He had no other choice. The demons were really partly right, which he couldn't risk. In case the deal gets undone, everything he went through was in vain. And all this would end far worse. He had hoped that he could buy himself a little more time, but as it seems, fate didn't allow him that.

"Fine..." Dean said and looked back at his father and brother.

Tbc

Okay all this probably caused only more confusion and I am sorry about it (at least a little bit :) ). I know Dean is definitely acting out of character, but he had his reasons, I promise! Well, I try to update sooner next time and hope you will read the next chapter too – I guess answers are coming ;).


	6. The truth

**Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters:** Dean, Sam, John  
**Warnings:** Dark and a lot of angst  
**Summary:** AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer:** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.  
**A/N:** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

I have my exams at the moment, so had no time to update, sorry. But here is the next chapter. Probably still confusing parts in it. But just ask... I'll try to help as far as I can at this point of the story ;)... And in general: would simply love to get some comments ;). And I want to thank everybody who reviewed. You all made my day ;)!

**For family's sake**

**Chapter 6: The truth**

_Previously_

"_...You partly went against your deal. Which means we either see it as undone or you let us run the show." Tom said and smiled at Dean, who got pale._

"_No..." Dean whispered and closed his eyes._

"_Yes!" Meg said. "...any complains?"_

_Dean sighed. He had no other choice. The demons were really partly right, which he couldn't risk. In case the deal gets undone, everything he went through was in vain. And all this would end far worse. He had hoped that he could buy himself a little more time, but as it seems, fate didn't allow him that._

"_Fine..." Dean said and looked back at his father and brother._

"... Go ahead then." Dean said calmly. Looking bored at Meg and Tom.

"Oh no, you won't get away so easily." Meg said smiling nicely at Dean, who only looked back calmly, which was actually the opposite of his feelings inside.

"So how do we start this?" Meg thought aloud. "Well... I think Sam should start. So go ahead Sammy, ask Dean a question. He will answer – and it will be the truth, right Dean." Meg said laughing evilly.

Both brothers didn't say a word.

"Come on Sammy. This is your chance... maybe your only one. I know there are thousands of questions in you head. Just spill it. You can ask as much as you want." Meg taunted him.

Sam wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to ask Dean all the questions but Meg obviously had her plans and he didn't want to hurt Dean... But Meg was right this might be his only chance, as Dean was acting so rejectingly.

"Dean, why did you leave?" Sam asked slowly and he and his father were looking at him full of expectation.

Dean glared at his family, at Meg and at Tom. This was just crazy and he knew he had no other chance than to say the truth. He couldn't risk to break the deal.

"Because of you... Mom... Dad... because I had no other choice. Chose what you prefer." Dean said.

"You are not really helping here Dean. Please, we just want to understand." Sam said.

"Trust me Sammy, you say you want to know, but you don't." Dean said. "I went through it. I know it. Trust me."

"Try me." Sammy said provokingly.

"Try another question. We will get to it later, okay." Dean said begging.

Sam saw the look on his brother's face and nodded.

"Fine." Sam said. "Who is Travis." Sam still wanted to start at the beginning.

"He was possessed four years ago. By a demon who is able to say how serious you are about things... okay he had other abilities too, but I went to him because of that power." Dean said.

"Why?" John asked.

"The demon had to be sure that I am serious about keeping my part of the deal. Was a pretty nasty procedure. Well as a thank you I exorcised the demon... that was before that deal was made." Dean added and was smirking at Meg, who glared.

"Guess Meg wasn't so satisfied about it, after all she had a crush on the Travis demon, right." Dean said.

"Well I had fun burning his body on the ceiling, when John was waiting outside." Meg hissed back. "And your father would have burned too... if you hadn't interfered." she added and Dean didn't answer to that.

At least one thing was clear now. Sam and John thought.

"Dean what happened in Pocatello?" Sam asked fast. They were getting information and he would use this opportunity.

"You seriously did a good work there Dad. How did you find out?" Dean asked.

"Some people heard you and this other person talk in the alley before you went to the bar." John told his son, which caused Dean to get pale. He couldn't believe that his Dad nearly found out everything... but he was pretty sure that he hadn't, otherwise he would act differently.

"Oh..." Dean only said. "Pocatello was when I first suggested the deal." He answered the question, which now caused Sam and John get pale. They had never expected that it was Dean who suggested the deal to the demon. And it meant that it started already three years ago.

"Then I guess you know about the robbery, right?" Dean said and Sam and John nodded. "There was a special artifact they needed, well I got it for them. To show them that I meant it seriously." Dean said.

"And the two girls who died during the robbery?" John asked...

"You seriously think I did it? Fine, think what you want." Dean said.

"Hey. You want to decrease my count? At least kill one person before you pretend to have killed mine." Meg said, but she was slightly confused. She would have thought that he would defend himself, seriously explain somethings. After all he went through hell for his family, why would he want them to hate him like this.

Dean didn't answer to that.

"Dean ... what's the deal about? Please we need to know." Sam finally asked the question which had been nagging him for a long time.

"I told you. You don't want to know!" Dean said.

"Dean..." Tom said threatening. "Slowly but surely I am getting bored of all the crap you are telling... and you don't want me to hurt anybody, right?" he said.

"Spill it or I will love to do it for you." Meg added.

Dean just glared. This was just crazy. He had serious problems to keep his anger in control.

"Fine." He hissed. "You want to know about the deal? You won't like it, trust me." Dean said, while his family looked expectingly at him, but also tensed.

"The demon got my obedience for your sorry lives and you all screwed it by coming here. Good job." Dean said softly and he looked sad, while John and Sam looked shocked. Both wanted to run over to Dean, but they could feel the threatening looks of the two demons and they knew Dean hasn't told everything yet... they needed to wait.

"Why would you do the deal, why would he accept? I mean we were hunting the demon since he killed Mom, why did you do the deal, I simply don't understand..." Sam said confused.

"Good question. Seriously." Dean said and smirked a little. His brother really knew how to get to the point. Dean wondered if it was something they learned in Stanford...

"I will put it like this, okay. Just listen." Dean said and his father and brother nodded. "I killed way more demons than you know. I had something like my own lead to find the demon and in nearly every second city we sent a demon back to hell... well I had another demon too." Dean said slowly.

John looked totally confused. "How...?" he asked.

"Well you taught me well, I guess... and it has something to do with my genes.." Dean whispered the last part, but both Sam and John heard it...

"Let's just say that I wasn't always playing pool...All this of course pissed the demon off and he even started to send demons after me... and then Sammy told me that he wanted out of this life, that he was done hunting and that he thought about going to college..." Dean said.

"Dean, I..." Sam didn't know what he actually wanted to say, he just had this bad feeling and he so wanted to be there for his brother. He remembered when he told Dean about his plans. It had been Dean's 23rd birthday and they had been drinking... he hadn't intended to tell Dean because he knew it would break his heart but when Dean heard about the plans he had only looked thoughtful and had finally said: "Good for you." and had smiled, which had actually encouraged Sam to go through with it...

"No, Sammy, it's okay. Just listen." Dean said and it was the first time since Sam saw his brother, that he really recognized him and Sam smiled slightly.

"I had the deal in mind for a long time, but this confession finally made me do it. We were in Pocatello then and I summoned the demon the next night and told him my idea: You two won't get hurt, he would leave you alone, which includes his demons too..." Dean said and looked at Tom and Meg, who seemed pretty relaxed.

"... therefor I would stay with them and stop killing his demons." Dean ended the story.

"I still don't understand. Sam is right. We were hunting the demon since your mother died. You were killing his demons – good. We could have found him. Killed him. Why the deal?" John said.

Dean smiled sadly. "Because there are things you don't know... about what really happened the night we lost Mom." Dean said and he looked as if he was in pain. He had kept this secret for years and now he would simply tell it to Sammy and his father. And the problem was that Meg and Tom were listening...

"Dean?" Sam asked concerned.

"Shall I help?" Meg said smiling. Everybody turned to look at her. She was now pointing the gun at John and Sam again.

"Choose Dean. Whom shall I shoot. Your Daddy or Sammy?" Meg asked smirking.

"Meg, stop it. I can deal with this alone – thanks." Dean said bored. He knew that Meg was just acting, she wouldn't dare to break the deal so obviously.

"Choose!" Tom now said and pointed his gun at John again, so Meg could point at Sam.

"Don't play with me!" Dean now said angrily. "You two have a death wish, or something?"

"Come on Dean. Where is the fun without some action and drama?" Meg said.

Dean didn't really know how all this happened, when he had imagined meeting his family again, it always had been different - less complicated. But what had he actually expected?

"We are waiting Dean..." Tom said.

Dean sighed and he knew he was doing a big mistake... but somehow he couldn't stop himself. He slowly moved over to his family, the first time he really got near them, today.

And he stopped in front of the person, who needed him right now.

"Shoot Sammy." Dean said, standing in front of his Dad and there was this sad look in his eyes. "Shoot Sammy." he repeated like a whisper.

Sam looked shocked at his brother and John looked even more horrified. "Dean no." he yelled and pushed Dean slightly in Sam's direction.

John had taught Dean to keep an eye on his little brother, since Sammy was born... even when he hadn't known about demons yet... he had never thought that Dean would put him over Sammy, he didn't want Dean to put him over Sammy. This was just wrong and he couldn't believe that Dean was doing this, because John also knew that Dean loved his brother way to much.

This was wrong, this wasn't his son...

"Oh how sweet, may I?" Meg said and cocked her gun.

Now John got mad and he lifted his gun, cocked it and pointed it at Meg.

"Don't think of it!" He threatened.

But before anybody could say anything more or could do anything more, there was a shoot and Sam looked shocked, sad and betrayed, when he went down to the floor.

"NO!" John yelled, looking shocked at Dean who was holding the gun in his hands, which he had used a second before to shoot his brother in the leg.

Sam was holding his wounded knee and was pointing his gun, first at Dean, then at Meg and Tom... he didn't really understand what just happened.

John meanwhile was attacking Dean. He couldn't believe what just happened, but he knew that he had to stop Dean, before more horrible things happened. It was like his worst nightmare coming true...

John was attacking, but Dean was his son and they had trained a lot together, to know each others strengths and weaknesses ... and Dean seemed a lot stronger and faster than two years ago. And finally Dean managed to pin his Dad against the next wall, while Meg and Tom were looking amused.

"You know I imagined a lot of ways how this would happen, but this is seriously the best outcome." Meg said.

"Shut up!" Dean said coldly.

"Dean you know what you just did..." John asked...

"You should have gone when I told you... I just wanted to protect you... i did what I thought was the right thing to do" Dean said sadly. "You want to know the whole truth, now you will get it... trust me." Dean said and his face was blank again.

"Don't move!" Dean added, when he let go of John. Tom was still pointing his gun at John...

"You two stay out of it." Dean added to Meg and Tom, who only looked at him amused.

Dean went over to Sam but when he nearly reached him, Sam backed away. As good as he could, with his still bleeding knee.

There was the look in Sam's eyes that made Dean's heart break. He had hoped that he would never see the look in his brother's eyes, not if it was for him... it was pure fear...

"Sammy." Dean said quietly.

"Stay away!" Sam said and he was pointing his gun at Dean now.

"Sam." Dean said, shutting his feelings out, because otherwise he would break... pointing a gun to his head... he was shutting his feelings out, because there were more important things to do now.

"I mean it." Sam repeated, not taking his eyes from Dean.

Dean went down to his knees, so he could see right into his brother's eyes. "Sam put the gun away... it's making me a little nervous... and you are not going to shoot me anyway." Dean said.

"Oh really? Because, guess what. I thought so too, about you. Guess who gave me this bullet wound?" Sam said sarcastically.

"If I hadn't shoot you, Meg would have...and it wouldn't have been in the knee, believe me. Probably the heart or the head. I was trying to protect you." Dean said, not once taking his eyes from Sammy and while he said all this he reached out for the gun in Sam's hand and grabbed it.

"Really good job, Dean. Thanks." Sam said unsure... but he let go of the gun and Dean carefully placed it to the floor.

"You wanted to know the truth... now there is no going back." Dean said quietly and a tear was running down his face. "I am sorry. I never wanted it to happen like this... but none of us has a choice now." Dean said.

"Dean what are you talking about." Sam asked confused.

"Shh, Sammy. Just look at me." Dean said and his right hand reached out for Sammy's head and his thumb was touching his forehead. "Just look at me and listen... it doesn't hurt...there is no blood..."

"Dean what are you doing?" Sam asked confused. Sam couldn't place it, but the way Dean was talking and his hand at his head, it was like a deja vue... a lost memory, he couldn't remember, but knew happened...

"Sam. You saw the bullet go into your knee and felt it. You expect it to hurt, you expect it to bleed and you expect it to weaken you. But that's only an illusion. It doesn't hurt. There is no wound and it's not bleeding." Dean said and kept looking at Sam... and he could see the change in Sam's eyes.

"Trust me in this one... there is no wound." Dean whispered. He let go of Sammy, who looked kind of shocked and confused... and stood up and stepped back.

This was it... now he really had no other choice than to tell everything...

"Sam? Dean." John asked and he freed himself from Tom's grip, because he was now totally focused on Sam and Dean... and there was this look in his eyes – amazement, satisfaction... John couldn't place it, but he didn't care either.

When John reached his boys, he was totally shocked. Because Sam was now standing again and he was pointing his gun at Dean. But that wasn't what had shocked him so much, he would have done the same thing in Sam's place... but the thing that shocked him was the fact that Sam was standing on both his feet. No sign of a wound...

"How did you do that?" Sam asked and he looked kind of freaked...

Dean smiled at him sadly... "You can't blame this on me Sammy, sorry. This was definitely all your doing..." he said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You okay Sammy?" John asked concerned.

"If I am okay? Can't you see that I am freakin okay. Dean just shoot me and there is not even a scar..." Sam said totally confused.

"I told you you wouldn't like it... you still want the truth?" Dean asked.

Sam lowered the gun... and nodded calmly. "Yeah.." Sam whispered.

"Had any nightmares the last month?" Dean asked and Sam got pale...

"Of course you had... of Jess burning up, pinned to the ceiling, right?" Dean said sadly but Sam didn't answer...

"What?" Meg asked. "You freakin bastard... you knew he was developing his powers... and you didn't tell?" she asked angrily.

"Don't listen to her." Dean told Sam and John.

"Powers?" Sam repeated Meg's words.

"I guess I should start from the start..." Dean said and when he heard no complaining he continued. "... demons want to take over the world since they exist... we know that... but somehow they never succeeded. Which made them to think of other options. One of them included possession. Taking over a human body. Controlling soul and mind – using the body to fulfill his plans. But this costs a lot of power. It takes a very strong demon to do it, to have full control of a human and still be able to use it's own powers... and of course it takes time. And on top of that the human body can't live long under this circumstances. After about fife years they are worn out and they die and the demon has to search for a new body. That are the facts, we all know."

John and Sam nodded slightly. They had no idea where this was going.

"Well about a hundred years ago or more they thought about another new way... a way to use the human body way longer..." Dean said and now came the hard part. "They experimented a lot and most of the experiments failed, but finally one option worked. It takes a long time, but the demons had learned to be patient... and it still costs a lot of power, but in the end it was still worth it. It allows a full binding between human and demon and the body lasts hundred of years and the outcome is always a way more powerful demon than it had been in its pure form."

John had the bad feeling that he knew what was coming next... and if he did, then Dean was right, he didn't really want to know.

"As far as I know there were about twenty successful bindings till now... most of them I wasted. It was ugly, but I am still alive, right." Dean said. "I guess you understand now why the demon wanted me to stop so desperately... why he accepted the deal. He worked pretty hard for this. It costs him a lot of power to create those demons... actually till now he is the only demon I know who managed to prepare the humans for the binding..." Dean continued.

"So they... Meg and... Tom. They are...?" Sam asked and looked over to the two demons who were listening to Dean's story as he and his father were.

Dean laughed. "No... the demon is their father... he really loves them, because they are very strong already. They are probably getting the next prepared body, but at the moment they are still only possessing two innocent humans – not as powerful as they wish to be... and they have the bodies for a few years now. These bodies are living their last days, I guess." Dean said sadly.

Meg and Tom only glared at Dean, but didn't say a word.

"The important part is, how the whole procedure works." Dean came back to the topic. "The demon figured out that the human needs to be in a special age to be... opened." Dean said slowly.

"Opened?" Sam asked confused.

"The demon... opens the soul, body, mind... I don't know it exactly. The fact is that the demon opens the people for the dark side. The humans grow older and they open up even more. Which causes them to channel demonic powers..." Dean said and as he expected he saw his Dad and Sam get pale.

"When they turn 20 the procedure is complete. There is a ceremony and a demon and the human become one. One body, one soul, one mind... one heart." Dean ended his story.

"20.." Sam asked weakly and there was hope in his voice.

"Normally 20..." Dean answered weakly and he couldn't look into his brother's eyes.

"Oh..." Sam said and he really didn't feel well.

"Dean... Dean! You seriously want to tell me..." John couldn't finish his sentence. This was just wrong.

"The demon comes to the baby's 6 month birthday..." Dean added, still avoiding his father's or Sam's eyes.

"I was six month old when Mom died?" Sam asked apathetically.

John nodded weakly.

Sam suddenly felt sick and dirty. He felt light headed and he wasn't sure how long he could go through with this. This was way to much information for a few hours...

"Don't fell bad Sammy. You will make a great companion with us." Meg said smiling.

Sam looked at her for a second... but then he couldn't keep it any longer. He went over to the next corner and threw up...

"I said shut up Meg." Dean glared at her, while his Dad went over to Sam to soothe him by rubbing circles on his back.

"Sh..." John tried to reassure his youngest, while he could barely hold himself together. Sam was on his knees now and the vomiting was now mixed with sobbing.

Dean just looked at the scene sadly, but didn't dare to get near Sam... he knew pretty much exactly how Sammy felt. After all he had to learn about this too. But in his case there had been totally different circumstances.

After there was nothing left to get out of his system, Sam stiffed. The sobbing stopped and he pushed his father's hand away.

"Don't touch me." Sam whispered.

"Sammy." John said...

"No... just don't. We are going to be..." Sam whispered.

"Enemies? You are giving up so fast, little brother? I am disappointed." Dean said and looked seriously in Sam's and John's direction.

"What do you want." Sam hissed.

"I want you to listen what I am telling you... god. Sam. Don't think that now that you are supposed to be a demon you are allowed to show your whole dark side. That's not an excuse... you had 22 years time to do that." Dean said half joking half serious.

Sam didn't stop glaring at his brother.

"You are not going to be one of them... as much as you might want it." Dean said.

"Yeah sure because I have you and Dad? Because I had such a great childhood?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Yeah damn right, because of me." Dean said and looked right into his brother's eyes. "And if you had listened you would know why."

Sam looked confused but John had understood and went pale once again. Dean seriously loved his brother – too much for his own sake. And now everything made so much more sense.

"Because of the deal." John said quietly and when Sam heard it he went pale and his legs felt weak once again.

"Dean..." Sam could only say.

"You still want to be a demon?" Dean asked coldly.

"Dean what did you do?" Sam whispered. He couldn't believe it.

"Keeping a promise. I told Mom I would never let anything bad happen to you." Dean said.

"Dean no..." Sam said, tears running down his face once again.

"It's okay. You still don't know everything... there is a reason why you can never become one of his fellows." Dean said quietly.

"More..." Sam whispered unbelievingly.

TBC


	7. Reasons

** Title: **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters: ** Dean, Sam, John  
**Warnings:**Dark and a lot of angst  
**Summary: **AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

**Disclaimer: ** I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.  
**A/N: ** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

My life is sooo busy at the moment but I was thinking about writing on everyday. So here is the next chapter. Probably still confusing parts in it. But just ask... I'll try to help as far as I can at this point of the story ;)... And in general: would simply love to get some comments ;).

** For family's sake  
**

**Chapter 7: Reasons  
**

_ "Dean, what did you do?" Sam whispered. He couldn't believe it._

"_Keeping a promise. I told Mom I would never let anything bad happen to you." Dean said._

"_Dean, no..." Sam said, tears running down his face once again._

"_It's okay. You still don't know everything... there is a reason why you can never become one of his fellows." Dean said quietly._

"_More..." Sam whispered unbelievingly. _

* * *

„Well, it's not as if I was going to tell you." Dean added. "I just wanted you to know... that I have more reasons." 

Sam looked at his brother as if he was crazy. It was as if they were at the beginning again. "You can't say that and expect us not to ask." he said unbelievingly.

"You are still asking? After all that you've learned a second ago... you still want to know everything? Trust me Sammy, you are really better off not knowing." Dean insisted.

"Dean... if you don't want to talk now, fine. But there is one thing I would like to know and I want you to answer me..." John suddenly said. He looked into Dean's eyes and Dean looked back and Dean slowly nodded.

"Since when do you know... all this. About Sammy..." John asked and he could see Dean wince.

"Of all questions, you had to ask this one? Where the hell have you two learned to push the wrong button at the wrong time?" Dean asked angrily.

Neither John nor Sam had expected such an reaction.

"Nine when I learned about this the first time... but I was twelve when I figured everything out..." Dean whispered... he knew this would only cause more shock and a lot more questions. But he actually was so tired right now. Why couldn't they simply go and live happily ever after. He couldn't help it but having his family here, having them near him, somehow caring... it was taking a toll on Dean.

Of course he had watched them, but he had learned to shut out his emotions.. but now it was different. He knew that this was probably the last time he would see, talk and be with them... and that made it so much harder not to tell the truth. Although he knew that the truth would really hurt them...

"Nine?" John repeated in shock and Sam just looked at his brother sadly.

"You could have told me... we would have fixed it somehow." John said sadly. "Dean... with nine... for gods sake."

But Sam suddenly remembered two things and he was pretty sure it had something to do with it.

"Then... the box was really meant for now? Your letter?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

Dean got pale. "No. Sammy. Don't! Don't talk about it..." he said shocked and looked shortly over to Tom and Meg... but they had indeed heard it.

"Don't talk about what, Dean?" Meg asked suspiciously.

"This is a private conversation!" Dean said sarcastically.

"Sammy...?" Meg now turned around to Sam and she stared at him and Sam had the suspicion that she tried to read his thoughts. He wasn't sure if she could do such a thing... but she seemed getting frustrated.

"We will learn it anyway..." Meg said and gave Dean a threatening look.

"Whatever." Dean said indifferently.

"Dean... there was a... a... vision or something I had." Sam said... he still wasn't so comfortable with the thought that he was partly a demon.

Dean looked at him expectantly.

"When Dad went after the Wendigo in Michigan, I was eight years old... did something supernatural attack me that night?" Sam asked slowly.

Dean had to smirk slightly... it's wasn't really funny, but still... the fact that Sam remembered that night, of all... it simply was ironic. He had no idea how... but somehow today his brother and father really had managed to ask all the wrong questions – in his opinion. He somehow knew that he would tell them everything today, as much as he had tried to prevent it.

"You are not supposed to remember it." Dean said calmly.

"And how exactly would you have made sure that I won't?" Sam asked confused.

Damn. Another wrong question. It simply wasn't his day, Dean Winchester decided.

"First of all. As you might have realized by now. Yes. There had been a supernatural being in your room when Dad went to Michigan." Dean enlightened his family.

"Why didn't you tell me? When things like that happen. You tell me. I thought I told you." John said harsh.

"It happened 17 years ago. A lot of things happened that night and I kind of made a promise." Dean said apologizing.

"Dean... for gods sake, could you please just tell the god damn story?" Sam said, now a little tired of Dean's behavior. But before Dean was able to say anything else, Sam was suddenly holding his head.

"Ah.." Sam said, hurt... and he went down to his knees.

"Sam!" John immediately rushed over to his son, while Dean only looked coldly at them.

Meg and Tom meanwhile looked interested. They hadn't expected Sam's powers to grow so fast... but after all it was the reason why they wanted him so badly.

Pictures were flashing in front of Sam's eyes.

_Dean was younger. Maybe two years ago. He was holding a young girl and Meg approached them with a knife in her hands. The girl was sobbing. When Meg reached them she slit the girl's throat, smiling – and Dean was just watching, holding the girl when her life left her._

_Comparable scenes followed in a flash and suddenly it all played in the future. This time it was Meg who was holding a girl – a girl Sam knew too well. It was Jessica. Dean approached them with a cold glare. "Finish it Dean." Meg teased Dean, who only nodded. And with one move Dean slit Jessica's throat. And she died with the words Sam  on her lips._

"No!" Sam yelled shocked.

"Sammy." John said carefully.

"How dare you... how could you...?" Sam whispered.

"Sammy... what happened?" John asked.

But Sam wasn't listening to his father. He felt for the gun he had left on the floor. He took it. Pointed it at Dean and he cocked it.

"Wow... Sammy what are you doing!" John said shocked and tried to take the gun away from his son.

"Get off me. You haven't seen what I have seen... I can't let it happen." Sam said shacking.

"Sam... Sam calm down. Talk to me!" John said. He wouldn't allow one of his sons to die today. Not after all he had learned today. He just wouldn't.

"He... he killed people... he is... he is going to kill people... he is going to kill Jessica." Sam whispered, tears running down his face. "How could you Dean? How could you let all those people get killed?" Sam asked.

"It comes with the job Sammy... it comes with the job." Dean just said looking coldly.

"How can you be so cool about it? We had the talk before and ... I mean. Dean! You want to be the bad person now instead of me? I mean for you the most important thing always had been to safe the innocents. All this changed now?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

"Sometimes people change." Dean said calmly.

"Yeah I guess so." Sam said.

"Sam put the gun away." John said.

Suddenly once again the image of Jessica's death flashed in front of Sam's eyes.

"I can't!" Sam whispered. He was shacking, but he was ready to pull the trigger. He looked into his brother's eyes and he was confused to see relieve in there.

"Sammy." John said and grabbed for the gun once again, but Sam pushed him away – and this time is was different. John could feel a force keeping him away from Sammy. And this scared him even more. He was pretty much sure that Sam didn't even realize it – that he was using his powers.

"I am so sorry, Dean... I am so sorry." Sam whispered... Sam was now shacking even more. He knew he had to... and Dean wasn't even moving...

* * *

"Sammy stop it!" A calm voice suddenly said. 

Dean went pale, really white when he heard the voice which had been haunting him for so long... he couldn't believe that the person really dared to come here.

Sam didn't know why, but he calmed down. He didn't know the voice – but his subconscious simply trusted the voice. He lowered the gun a little.

John meanwhile stopped fighting the force which was holding him... he went pale too. He looked around, desperate to find the source of the voice. Because he definitely knew the voice. He would recognize the voice everywhere. The voice was still haunting his sweetest dreams and also his worst nightmares... He would recognize the everywhere... everywhere.

And Meg and Tom – they were discontent. Everything was developing pretty well and this interacting wasn't really helping– and the new intruder wasn't really their friend. The person should be, but the person simply wasn't.

"Sammy, don't. He is your brother. And it's not his fault." the person stepped out of the shadows where it had been watching. The person went over to the brothers and stopped in front of Sammy and lowered his gun slowly with her hands, while Sam was only looking with open mouth at her.

And finally John found his voice back. "Mary?" he whispered. Not believing what he was seeing.

"Mom?" Sam repeated his father's words. Still not believing, because the person in front of him wasn't a ghost, but had a solid body. She looked like on the photos Sam had from her. Not a minute older. This simply couldn't be.

"How dare you?" Dean said loud and angrily. "I told you to stay away. I told you to let me handle this. You promised me you wouldn't intervene." Dean hissed.

"Dean!" John said out of reflex. Like a father who was admonishing his son for yelling at his mother.

"Don't just don't. Because you have NO idea." Dean said threatening at his father. "You all are just so damn... Idiots. I simply can't believe that this is happening." Dean said frustrated and he was pacing now. Not looking at any of his family members. While non of them had moved from their spots till now.

"You two have no idea what is going on here." Dean said and was looking at his father and brother. "And you..." Dean was glaring at his mother who was only looking at her son sadly. "... you are the worst. Because you are either a really bad actress or the most naive person I ever meet. For gods sake... i hate you!" Dean said with tears in his eyes.

"Dean..." Mary said sadly and went over to her eldest. She tried to hug him, but he pushed her away.

"Don't okay. Just don't." Dean said angrily. "You should rather talk to your husband and youngest. I think they need you more at the moment." Dean just whispered.

Mary turned away sadly.

"How is this possible?" Sam asked – trying to follow the conversation, while everything in his head was spinning.

Mary turned to Sammy and smiled. She went over to him slowly and was so glad that he didn't back away – well he didn't know the truth yet.

"Hey Sammy. You are such a big boy now." She smiled proudly and she touched his face slightly.

Sam leaned into the touch. "Mom." he whispered. Scared that it was just a dream and that she would disappear any second.

And then mother and son lay in each other's arms.

"I love you Mom... I missed you." Sammy said.

"I love you too Sammy. I love you too." Mary whispered and tears were running down her face. She had dreamed of this moment. She wished it were under different circumstances... but she still savored the moment. She had her baby in her arms...

She never wanted to let go, but she knew she had to and she also knew that everybody was watching her at the moment. Waiting for her next step. For different reasons.

She slowly let go of Sammy. She touched his cheek once again with a smile and then turned around to somebody she had somehow even missed more.

"I am so sorry. I am so sorry." Mary whispered as John took her in his arms.

They stood there for a few seconds. Never wanting to let go.

"I am sorry, I missed you so much. I love you... I don't know what to say. I don't even know how this is possible..." John started to talk.

Mary stopped him by kissing him and he kissed back. When both let go of each other, John's only wish was to get his family to safety.

"So now that everybody said hello, could we come back to business." Meg said snappy.

Mary turned around angrily. "Back off. I can't believe that you two can stand here so cool. You were supposed to stay away from my family. But like a miracle Max is dead now and Sammy and John are here. I am pretty sure that somebody broke the deal!" she hissed as she was standing in front of Meg.

Sam and John were looking surprised at how fiercely Mary reacted.

"No!" Dean said and went between Meg and his mother. He pushed Mary away from Meg. "I told you to stay away for gods sake!" he said angrily. "Why can't you just listen?"

"You ask me?" Mary said angrily and freed herself from Dean's grip. "I tried. I stayed away. But you seriously expect me not to feel the hurt and betrayal your brother felt when you shoot him?" she asked back. "You expect a mother not to come and see what is going on with her family. I didn't leave you alone and I won't do it to Sammy either." Mary said calmly.

"And I wish you had stayed away when it had been about me." Dean said calmly too, but turned away from his mother.

But she wasn't looking at him either.

"Could you please stop... no more secrets, please. Because I seriously can't handle more right now." Sam said calmly and a tear was running down his face. And he really didn't look good.

"Sam..." Dean started.

"And don't come with the... you don't want to know – crap. A few minutes ago I was damn it ready to kill you..." Mary looked at Dean concerned when Sam said it. "...I have no idea what is happening to me – and... all this is jut crazy. Mom is here – the reason why we have been hunting in the first place... and everything is falling apart. I want answers. I just want some answers, please." Sam begged.

"Just ask Sammy, just ask." Mary said after a while, smiling kindly at her youngest. She looked around for a second to make sure that Meg and Tom wouldn't intervene.

Then Mary saw Dean, looking everywhere but at his family. He looked stubborn and mad and she knew too well that he was mad.

"I am sorry Dean!" Mary whispered.

"You already said that and I still don't believe you. I kept my mouth for years to avoid all this and you are just ruin it... go ahead, I won't stop you. But to be honest, I wished you had just died that day in the fire." Dean said angrily.

"And I don't really see what is your problem. I am the one who is responsible, I am the one who will be blamed... and if I had died, Sam would be one of them for two years." Mary said hurt. "Dean I totally understand why you are angry at me, but what the hell is going on in your head? I don't recognize you and some things you are saying or doing simply don't make any sense." Mary said with tears in her eyes. She somehow feared for Dean's sanity.

"Forget it. You wouldn't understand it anyway. You wanted to answer some of your son's questions." Dean remembered his mother, who turned around to the rest of her family after a second. She realized that it had no use to talk now. Dean was as stubborn as she had once been.

"So, what do you want to know." Mary finally said to Sam and John, who both had a kind of a deja vue.

"Is it really you? I mean... we thought you... and if yes. Then why do you show up now?" Sam asked.

Mary smiled slightly. Like Dean had noticed before – Sam was really asking the right questions. "Yes it's really me. I am the woman your father fell in love with, loved and lost. I am the woman who gave birth to two unbelievable great boys. It's still the same body, soul... everything." Mary sighed. "The problem is only that none of you really knew me. That I brought a secret into the relationship, which I shouldn't have. I had hope... I never wanted it to happen like this." Mary said weak.

Dean snort. "Yeah sure." he mumbled.

Mary turned around to him and glared. "You really want to make me angry, Dean? We had this conversation already... for gods sake what the hell is your problem today. You want to get hurt, or what?" she said pissed and she really had to fight not to hurt her son. While Dean still looked at her bored. "You know what... we are talking about it later. As you said, I have questions to answer." Mary calmed herself down and turned back to John and Sam, who were looking at her shocked... John had never expected that Mary would ever hurt her boys.

"As I said. You don't really know me. At least not all of me." Mary slowly said. "Dean told you about the binding ritual, right?"

"About me being a demon, yeah!" Sam said quietly, not looking in his mother's eyes. Afraid to see disgust or other things.

"Yes you are a demon. But for example Max didn't die as a demon. Without the ritual he is only a transformed human." Mary explained and saw the confused faces of her husband and son. "Well Dean also told you that he wasted most of these superDemons. Those few which were created by the binding. Well it was more an understatement. Because Dean actually killed all of them ... except for the one who was created first. There isn't a big army of powerful demons... that is why they are so desperate to create new ones. Why there were so many fires the last few years..." Mary said looking at John.

"What about the first one that was created." John asked and Mary had to smile again. Always the right questions.

"I guess he wishes that he had killed her..." Mary said and was grateful when she felt Dean flinch behind her.

"What are you saying?" John asked pale.

"John you are clever... I guess you know what I am saying." Mary said and looked sadly at her husband, or ex-husband, she didn't really know.

"Okay maybe I am slow on the uptake. But I have no idea what you are talking about." Sam said slowly.

"Oh come on Sammy. You are not stupid... actually you are the clever one in this family. So just once open your eyes when you need to... get that this family is just a big damn lie." Dean said angrily.

Sam was pale now too.

"No." John whispered shacking. "Everything... it was just a lie. For what? To get Sammy or Dean. Mary for WHAT?" John asked angrily and half breaking.

"Nothing was a lie." Mary said with tears in her eyes. "Just let me explain please."

"Explain what? That you were alive all the time. That I raised our sons to hunters so they could take revenge for YOUR death, instead to support the school career?" John asked and he was numb now.

- to be continued -


	8. Demons

** Title : **For family's sake  
**Author: **0cloudyday  
**Rating: **PG-13/R  
**Spoiler: **none  
**Characters: **Dean, Sam, John  
**Warnings:**Dark and a lot of angst

** Summary:**AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

** Disclaimer:**I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.

** A/N: ** My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

Okay it really took a while and I am really sorry. But finally a new update.

So everbody knows. The story was in my head for a long time, although I still don't know how it's going to end. And it actually was already written for about three month. I only managed to finish the last few lines today. I am pretty busy, you see.

I have to be honest: As I still don't have much time, I don't know when I will update next, I try to hurry: PROMISE!  
So would still love some reviews!

** For family's sake  
**

** Chapter 8: Demons (part 1)  
**

_ "Okay maybe I am slow on the uptake. But I have no idea what you are talking about." Sam said slowly._

"_Oh come on Sammy. You are not stupid... actually you are the clever one in this family. So just once open your eyes when you need to... get that this family is just a big damn lie." Dean said angrily. _

_Sam was pale now too._

"_No." John whispered shacking. "Everything... it was just a lie. For what? To get Sammy or Dean. Mary for WHAT?" John asked angrily and half breaking._

"_Nothing was a lie." Mary said with tears in her eyes. "Just let me explain please." _

"_Explain what? That you were alive all the time. That I raised our sons to hunters so they could take revenge for YOUR death, instead to support the school career?" John asked and he was numb now.  
_

"That wasn't the plan. All this didn't happen because somebody wanted them to be hunters. Why the hell do you think the demon accepted the deal with Dean. Dean ruined everything he had build for years... just listen John please. Let me tell my story after that you can do whatever you want. But at least let me explain." Mary said desperately.

"Do I have an option here?" John said and looked at Meg and Tom behind Mary. They had been quiet the whole time, but John felt that they were getting impatient. "Okay. So go ahead. Explain how it comes that I married a demon." John said embittered. This was just so damn ironical.

Sam looked at his mother with wide eyes. Still not able to believe it and then he slowly turned his gaze over to his brother, who looked defeated.

Mary closed her eyes and sighed. "I will just start from the beginning, okay?... Well the demon had tried the binding ritual a few times before but non of them worked out. Then there was one which nearly survived after the binding. And the demon thought he figured it out. So he chose the 'demon part of me' to bind with his new prepared human: Mary Bennett." Mary started the story. She had problems to separate her old alter egos. After all they are 'one' for already so long... and she actually really didn't know who was really dominating.

"The 'demon part of me' was actually his favorite follower. He had been sure that it would work. Well, I still think it did... When Mary Bennett turned 20, she and the demon became one. Everything mingled together – body, soul, mind, powers... simply everything. They became one. If you ask the demon, Mary's soul was stronger... I am not so sure about it. But I don't really know. The fact is that I left my demon life behind, after the binding. I wanted to live. I wanted a normal life." Mary said and she smiled slightly at Sam, as she knew that it was the same that Sam had wanted all his life.

"Because of the opening the demon caused when Mary was still a baby, she had always been different. She had known it and somehow the people around her had too... but after the binding, I could control all the powers. And in order to stay hidden, I wasn't allowed to use my powers anyway." Mary continued. "And then I met John Winchester... and I fell in love. I felt safe and I had hope that everything would turn out okay." Mary said and looked in John's eyes, who after a while looked away. Which pretty much broke her heart. She paused for a second, but then she continued. "We married... and we were happy. We sure as hell were happy." Mary said calmly.

"You knew the demon was after you and you still married? You put the person you loved in danger – and you were aware of it. How can you be so naive?" Dean asked unbelievingly.

"You are seriously asking me this now? After all the years you know it, you seriously asking me now?" Mary asked unbelievingly herself. Something was seriously wrong with Dean.

"When you told me, I had other things to think about. And after that I figured you wouldn't answer me anyway. So now I am asking – because you owe your husband an answer." Dean said calmly and kept his eyes on his mother, who finally looked away.

"I ... I don't know. I thought HE (the demon) had given up on me anyway. I just wanted a normal life. I wanted to be with the person I loved. What should I have done, in your opinion? Run and hide for the rest of my life? I mean it is a damn long life... I am who I am now. I deserve to live, don't I? I don't regret having married, or having you two – and you know that. All this just shouldn't have ended like it did. I wished for all your sakes that it hadn't happened like this. But I sure as hell don't regret having the nice moments, with your father, Sammy or you!" Mary said desperately.

"What ever you say, Mom!" Dean said.

"Dean quit it! I don't know what has gotten into you. But don't talk to your mother like that!" John said angrily. He was angry at Mary – but it was still the woman he married and loved. And she was Dean's mother and he wasn't supposed to talk like this to her. Dean had always been the obedient one. He hardly talked back, he always followed his orders... it had always been Sammy who had questioned everything. It was strange to see Dean act like this now. Especially as it was his mother he was talking too... but John couldn't really say that he still knew his family, right?

"John it's okay. I did some mistakes... and Dean was the one who suffered from them. I guess I deserve it." Mary said smiling sadly at her husband.

John looked a little bit unsure.

"The story isn't finished yet." Mary said slowly. "The fact is that everything was fine. I really thought it was over – that I had escaped my past. Well it obviously changed when Sam turned six month old!" Mary said.

Sam looked at his mother. More curious than angry... and for that she was thankful.

"The fact is that the demon choses the kids randomly. They have to be healthy and strong and somehow have to be open for the binding – still don't know exactly what it means. Probably only, that they had a good childhood till then. Another fact is that not all mothers of the special children die. There aren't even always fires. For example my mother still lives as you know." Mary said looking at John.

"More than the fires?" John asked unbelievingly. From all that was told. These human-demons were pretty strong and John had a long list of fires where mother's died and infants had their 6th month birthday.

"As I told you. Dean didn't let the ones live, which already turned. So at the moment there are none. Sam is the only one who is old enough for a binding... after Max killed himself. No need to worry right now!" Mary said. "Well the fact is that there are the rumors about mother instinct. I believe in it... When the demon arrives in their child's nursery. They simply feel it. They feel the demonic influence... they fell that their child is in great danger and they interfere with the opening. So the demon kills them. Pins them to the ceiling and when he leaves, the mother burns up. The child survives the fire, even if there isn't always a father who rescues it... the child survives!" Mary said sadly.

"So you...?" John asked.

Mary shacks her head. "No. With me it was different. When I entered Sam's nursery, we saw each other. He of course immediately recognized me – and I recognized him. I knew it was over. He had started the opening already... and he couldn't stop it when he realized who or what Sammy was." Mary said.

"Why would he want to stop it?" Sam asked confused.

"Because you are my son. Because I am definitely a demon... and so were you when you were born. I mean I am the first demon like me. Part demon part human... and I gave birth to two children and the father was a human. So all this was pretty much new. But you were born as a demon – you hadn't got you powers yet, but you were a demon, or at least a half demon, I guess." Mary explained.

Sam was pale again. All this was just crazy and so typical Winchesters.

"The fact is that when the demon opened you for demonic powers... he pushed your inherited powers aside. The opening allows you to embrace your powers when you are about 20. It's when you start developing them and often the point when you get bound... What I mean is that because of your opening – you had no access to your real powers. We thought you would get them back when you turn 20. But as it seems. The opening locked your powers. They needed a trigger to wake up again..." Mary said.

"Like Dean shooting me?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"No. Like Dean protecting you!" Mary said determined.

"Could we please keep me out of this!" Dean said casually, but demanding.

"Man, what the hell is your problem Dean. She is defending you... and she is Mom." Sam said not believing how Dean can be so cold. "I mean she isn't dead. You should be thankful for that!" Sam said seriously.

"Sam would you please listen to yourself! First you are in fight mode and the next second it's all defending. You have to decide. Because eventually you have to. What do you want? Good or evil, Sammy? Because Mom is one of the bad guys, you want it or not." Dean said coldly. Which made John and Sam shiver, while Mary only looked exhausted.

Sam didn't know why. But something in him snapped when Dean said all this. "Stop talking about her like that!" Sam said angrily and suddenly Sam was all over Dean and punching him.

"Sam stop!" Mary said shocked.

Out of reflex Dean hit back... and for a second Dean wasn't sad. It felt like old times: When the two brothers had fights all the time, because of all kinds of stupid stuff. When they still had been kids – in some way innocent. Dean felt that it was okay. That he had made the right decision, because Sam deserved a normal life.

The two brothers were one the floor now and scuffling.

"Dean! Stop!" Mary said desperately. She sure as hell wasn't used to this – seeing her boys fight like this... while John actually had to smile. Because he too was remembered of old times.

Dean knew he had to use his only chance now... and he pushed his brother off him and with a slight move of his hand something Sam had been hiding, dropped to the floor; next to Sam, who was breathing hard from the little fight.

Everybody was staring at the object on the floor – with shock.

"Oh my god. Is this..." Meg said unbelievingly.

And before anybody could act... Meg and Tom were suddenly flying back against the next wall. Mary staring at them intensely.

"Is it?" Mary asked calmly and concentrated.

Sam took the colt from the floor. Looking at it thoughtfully.

"We think. Yes!" Sam said quietly.

"Mary what do you think you are doing? You can't keep us here forever. We are going to get that GUN!" Tom said calmly, trying to get free of Mary's grip.

"Why did you bring it here?" John asked unbelievingly. "Sam! What were you thinking..." John said, he thought the colt had been safe in the trunk of the Impala.

Sam didn't react, he was just looking at the colt and then at Dean – who looked back at him, but Sam couldn't read the expression... and suddenly the freaking headaches started all over again.

i Sam saw Jess dead now and Dean standing over her... and the scene shifted and this time it was somebody else lying dead on the floor. She looked similar. And when he got nearer, he could see that it was his Mom... and again it was Dean standing over her, a gun in the hand... and another scene with Caleb and Pastor Jim dead on the floor and the last scene was with his Dad... /i

The distant voice of his mother brought him back to the reality, although her words didn't make any sense. "Dean, what are you doing? Stop it!"

Sam had problems to breath... "No. Please no." Sam whispered and tears were running down his face again. This was just a really bad nightmare.

"Sam. What is it?" John asked concerned. All this was getting out of control again. And then suddenly he felt it again – the inability to move. Sam's powers were seriously getting out of control. The problem was that Mary felt it too. She couldn't move.

Sam looked up at his brother slowly. He raised the colt and pointed it at Dean. "I am sorry!" Sam whispered when he looked into Dean's eyes, which showed no regret.

"It's okay Sammy, just do it!" Dean said quietly.

Sam trembled. This was crazy. There had to be another way... there had to be... and then again he saw everybody he loves die by Dean's hands.

"Dean! Stop it!" Mary said with tears in her eyes. She now understood. She now understood a lot. Dean's plan. This was simply crazy.

"Sammy listen. Don't do this. Whatever you are seeing. It's not true." Mary tried to convince her son, while she cursed that she had made a promise to the other.

"Sammy do it." Dean said once again, glaring shortly at his mother.

"Sammy... Dean is my son too. Don't forget that!" Mary said slowly... and slowly felt how her blood boiled and she felt great pain going through her body.

Just before Mary hit the ground unconsciously, John was able to move and lowered her to the ground.

Sam got distracted by what was happening behind him and his grip loosened on the gun. And suddenly he felt a pull and the gun dropped to the floor, but before it slid away, Dean jumped forward, grabbed it and shot!

"Make a move and she is dead. And the next second you are!" Dean said threatening and breathing hard.

"Dean, Dean... what did you get yourself into. You seriously think you can get away with it. Don't forget the deal. You shoot and Sam belongs to us." Tom threatened but didn't move just as Dean had ordered.

Sam and John looked shocked between Dean, Tom and Meg. Dean was pointing the gun at Tom, but he had shoot at Meg – the bullet touching her forehead, while she stood with the back to the wall, not daring to move.

"I am seriously impressed Dean. We already thought you were some cripple – a freak of our kind. Glad to see that you obviously are able to do something." Meg said spitefully.

"That's my son you are talking about. Be careful what you say." Mary said threatening when she slowly awoke.

"You okay?" John asked concerned.

She smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah. Well at least..." she stood up slowly and looked at Dean seriously.

"Tell me that I am wrong. Tell me that you didn't plan that!" Mary begged her son.

"Don't accuse me. You just broke the promise and you nearly got us all killed!" Dean answered angrily, not taking his eyes from Tom and Meg.

Mary went pale. She closed her eyes and a tear was running down her face. "Oh god Dean. All the time. Everything for this. This is your solution? I am telling you, it's not. I won't let it happen." Mary said firmly.

"I don't think you have much say in it! You begged me to make the deal! So sorry if I only see this as a solution." Dean said desperately. "Please, just let me end it now."

"Dean are you doing this?" Sam asked afraid. He was staring at the scene in front of him.

"Mom said it. I am her son too." Dean said exhausted.

"Which makes you a half demon." Sam realized and he had problems to think straight. Their family was just so screwed up.

John was staring at his sons. He felt lost and helpless. The last 22 years he had been on a hunt. He wanted revenge for his wife's death and he had tried to protect his sons as good as possible. His purpose of living had been hunting demons. And now it appeared that his whole family was just that and he suddenly felt like an outsider – unable to help.

"Yes. But in contrast to you, my demon powers weren't blocked. I had these blurry dreams like forever. Even before Mom... disappeared. When I turned seven I started to really see something in my dreams. When I turned nine, I realized that I was dreaming of the future. It didn't happen often – don't know, maybe four times a year and not really important stuff. It was more knowing to which city we were heading before it's even in the papers. Or knowing that I would burn the food. Nothing interesting." Dean said never taking his eyes from Meg and Tom, ready to shoot the second one of them moved.

"Dean, why didn't you tell me?" John asked shocked by the revelation.

"Don't know. Maybe I didn't think it was important... maybe I saw you hunting all the demons and was scared what you would do in case you ever learned about it!" Dean said calmly, but for John the words were a punch in his face. The thought that Dean was scared to trust him with such things...

"He loves you and he trusts you, don't take his words too seriously." Mary whispered in John's ear and he smiled slightly. She still knew what to say to reassure him. And suddenly the thought came to his mind that she maybe knew what to say, because she could read his mind... and the smile turned to a emotionless expression.

"Well, when I turned twelve, my little brother got attacked by some kind of mutated witch and when I tried to safe him, the thing attacked me – spiked me. And I just needed to touch it and it vanished to ashes. I had no traces of a wound left and I managed to let Sam forget about this event. That was the first time I used my powers actively. Well actually it wasn't on purpose, because I had no idea I could do that, till it happened." Dean told further.

"The first power pushes are always the strongest. But once you know about it, you learn to control it. You little bastard – you were able to do all this from the beginning... why hiding it? It would have made your life so much easier!" Meg said impressed and confused.

"You really think that you are in the position to ask questions?" Dean asked and the bullet moved a little bit more in Meg's direction, which made her scream in pain. The bare contact with the bullet, made her feel as if her life was sucked out of her.

The bullet moved away a little again.

"Not yet!" Dean said quietly while he looked straight in Tom's eyes, who had been ready to make a move. But when he saw Dean's look he stopped immediately. He shivered – he had never seen such a determinate look. He started to fear the person, who had been only a puppet in his eyes before.

"After Sam went back to sleep that night, I left the house. I made sure that he was protected and then I intended to go away and never come back. I was scared, I knew I was becoming one of the things that we used to hunt. But I went only a mile away. I couldn't bring myself to go further. That night I fell asleep on a bench in the park nearby. When I woke up it was still dark and somebody was sitting next to me." Dean continued his story.

Mary remembered the night like it was yesterday, when Dean continued to talk about it.

_Mary had sensed when Dean used his powers and she was kind of proud of her son, but she also sorrowed for her oldest. He was doomed now. _

_The demon had sensed Dean, just as his mother, but Mary had convinced the demon to leave Dean alone for now. But she still couldn't resist to go see him. She knew he wouldn't survive this alone._

_She found him lying on a bench nearby the motel they were staying at the moment. He was sleeping and looked so peaceful, but when she came nearer she saw the tear in his eye._

_She sat down next to him and stroked his hair. When he felt her presence, he woke up._

_He sat up fast, but it took a while till he was really awake. She watched him carefully. He didn't really seem to be surprised, just nervous, as if he only wanted to run and hide._

"_Dean? Do you know who I am?" Mary asked carefully and smiled lightly at him. The only thing she wanted was to hug him, hold him and to never let him go again._

_Dean looked at her for a while and in these seconds his expression turned more and more to anger._

_Finally he nodded. "Yes... I know. You are my mother." He said coldly. _

_A shiver ran down Mary's spine. She thought that she had never heard somebody talking so coldly – and she was a demon._

"_You don't seem to be really surprised to see me." Mary said slowly._

"_Well I ... I saw you in my dreams." Dean said through clenched teeth._

"_A vision!" Mary explained._

_These words let Dean's facade crumble. He looked at her shocked, surprised and scared._

_He suddenly looked so vulnerable – Mary thought. She suddenly had an idea what was going on._

"_Dean come here." Mary said softly, but he suddenly was standing and backing away._

"_You know... how can you be here. I never wanted this. I swear Mom... I didn't want this." Dean whispered and tears were running down his face._

_Mary got up, went over to her son and hugged him. "Dean I am so sorry." Mary whispered._

"_No...no." Dean said and tried to entangle himself from his mother's grip. "How can you even like me... I am a demon. I am one of those who killed you." Dean whispered._

"_Dean you got it wrong." Mary said and finally let go of Dean. _

"_I am not a ghost... Dean...and this is not your fault." Mary explained. "Dean please, sit down."_

_Mary sat back down on the bench and waited patiently till Dean calmed down again and slowly sat back down. He pulled his knees up and he seemed so small. Of course he did: He was only twelve... she never wanted this kind of life for him, but there was no time for regrets now._

"_Dean listen to me. You know how inheritance works, right? You had it in school!?" Mary started._

_Dean nodded slowly, but was still looking at a spot on the ground. Apathetically._

"_The fact is that it's not different with demons." Mary said and waited for Dean's reaction. He looked up slowly and stared at her for a moment._

"_I... I don't understand." Dean whispered._

"_Dean I am not dead. I never died... in fact: I am a demon too. Or better: You are a demon, because I am one." Mary said and looked sadly at her first born._

"_But Dad... he hunts demons. He wants to take revenge... You have to tell him!" Dean said totally lost. He understood what his mother told him, but he wasn't really dealing with it._

"_Dean. Dean. I need you to look at me and listen carefully." Mary said now in a hurry. She could feel the demon. He was getting impatient._

"_Your father doesn't know and he can't know! When you tell him, it will hurt him – and not only emotional but also physical. I know you don't understand it, but if you tell your Dad, I won't be able to protect him or you or Sammy." Mary explained._

_Dean looked into his mother's eyes. "I won't tell. I don't want Dad or Sammy to get hurt." Dean said seriously and Mary smiled at her son._

"_I know... and now I need you to go back." Mary said and Dean's eyes widened._

"_No. Please Mom, I can't... I will hurt them. Dad will hate me." Dean said scared. "Please take me with you. I can't do this. Please mom!" Dean begged. And Mary had watched her family, she knew that Dean never begged, not like this and her heart ached at that thought._

"_Dean. I need you to watch over Sammy and your Dad. I can't do that. You need to take care of them, keep them safe." Mary tried to calm her son down, but he still looked scared._

"_Listen Dean. I watched you, I saw and felt what you can do. I am so proud of you. You don't need to be afraid of your powers... you have your father's blood in you too. You are not evil or anything. You are a good boy and you are going to be a good man. Your father raised you well. You will learn to control the powers, I know that. Just don't try to fight them, because then it will hurt!" Mary told her son._

"_I need to go now, sweetheart. But I will come back I promise." Mary said and her eyes flickered to yellow for a second. And Dean understood that it was a promise which she would keep. A promise made by a demon – it was like a oath._

_Dean suddenly fell in his mother's arms. "I missed you Mom." Dean whispered and Mary smiled. "I missed you too, honey. I missed you too."_

_She held Dean for a little while longer, but finally let go. But just as she wanted to leave again, Dean suddenly grabbed her arm._

"_Mom. You won't tell Sammy, right! In case Sammy ever finds out, you will let me tell him, right? You promise!" Dean said and seemed determined and this time his eyes flickered to yellow – Dean was learning fast._

_Mary hesitated for a second. Dean still didn't know everything – about Sam's destiny. But she knew that this meant a lot to her son, so she finally nodded._

"_Okay. I won't tell Sammy about you." Mary said and her eyes flickered._

"Mom explained some thing to me and convinced me to stay with you and Sammy. Therefor I made her promise to not tell Sammy about me." Dean said and looked at his father.

"Why?" Sam asked hurt and confused.

"Because I didn't want this life for you, you idiot." Dean said and Sam couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"The thing is that when demon's make a real deals or promises, it will have consequences when they break them. Which Mom just did. That's why she collapsed a minute ago." Dean explained further.

"Yes and why did I need to break the deal?" Mary said challenging.

"Mom don't please." Dean said pale.

"What?" Sam asked suspicious.

"Then tell them yourself. You owe it to them... God, you nearly got yourself killed." Mary said sadly.

Dean paused for a while. Half because he was thinking and considering all facts and half because he was concentrating on keeping Meg and Tom in place.

Sam was shacking. He tried to kill his brother – the feelings caused by the visions before nearly gone. "Listen Dean, I am sorry... please you have to believe me. I just had this vision..." Sam tried to convince Dean.

"You are not getting it collage boy, don't you?" Dean said unbelievingly.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"I am a demon, Sam. I have powers... like manipulating visions. Why do you think did Mom freaked out." Dean said casually, while Sam and John looked at him as if he was crazy.

"What? Why? I would have killed you. One more second I would have pulled the trigger." Sam said totally enraged and confused. How could Dean do something like that?

Dean looked him straight into the eyes. Determined, but sad. "Because it's the only way to safe you, safe us." Dean said.

"What? Me killing you?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

Dean smiled sadly. "I know you don't understand. None of you... But in contrast to you, I saw the future. The real future. I had the first dream about it when I was 10 and it freaked me out. I dreamed about it every night. Knowing that the world would end and it would be our... my fault. When Dad went to see Elkins and I heard about the legend of the gun. I knew it. I knew what I had to do and that everything would be okay. I could sleep that night."

"Dean what are you talking about. What did you see?" Sam asked freaked.

-to be continued-


End file.
